The first 10 days…
30 weeks pregnant and you’re getting uncomfortable. Every time you make a comment like, “I just need this baby out of me!” peoples response is always, “trust me you’ll want that baby back inside of you as soon as the long nights start.” Like, really? That’s comforting, letting me know I’m going to dread having my baby. Every time I got a “Ha! Say goodbye to sleeping!” or a, “just wait till the explosive poops!!” its like people were bitter about their own experiences and felt the need to scare me.
I’ll admit, I was naïve in thinking that it would all be a breeze, but no one told me about the baby blues. No one told me half the time I would cry with the baby. They didn’t tell me the lack of sleep would leave me depressed, exhausted and overwhelmed. How would feeding, changing and soothing a newborn baby be that exhausting?
No one tells you how hopeless you feel when the baby is still crying after you’ve done everything you could possibly think of to soothe her.
No one tells you how the exhaustion leaves you questioning your ability to be a good parent. Are you even capable of being a mom?
No one tells you how you may be so sleep-deprived, over emotional and depressed that you may not bond with your baby right away.
And no one tells you just how feel guilty you may feel about it.
No one tells you how ashamed you can be about what you feel and how scary it can be to tell someone. They will judge me; I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
No one tells you how inconvenient it is to have people constantly coming over wanting to meet her. Who even cares about your schedule, right?
Yes you love your baby, but you can be so drained its hard to think past when she’s going to need to eat next, or need changed or when you’re going to hear that dreaded cry.
Newborn babies- nothing can prepare you. It’s a learning experience; you’re thrown into it with nothing but your instincts, which don’t always feel like enough.
People need to start saying things to comfort you instead of scaring you.
Here’s what I want you to know,
It is okay to cry with the baby.
It is okay to ask for help after a day.
It is normal to feel ashamed.
It is normal to feel guilty.
It is normal to feel depressed.
It is okay to need anti-depressants.
It is okay to confide in someone, you have no idea how relieving it can feel.
Talk to someone, you are not the only one who feels this way. In fact, most people do feel this way. Waking up every 2 hours throughout the night is bound to be exhausting, whether you have a newborn baby or not. But add the desperate, hungry and sometimes, inconsolable cries- it would feel impossible for any person.
Just know you can do it. This will only last weeks. Not months, or years, only weeks. When you think about it, this is such a short amount of time in their long life and it will end.
It’s not going to necessarily be easy, and at times it may not even feel worth it, but I promise it will be.
Stay strong and reach out for support, you don’t have to feel ashamed, every mom needs help.
