When I was young I looked up to my father. He had a great job, a successful career, he traveled around the world and generally he was a good father. I wanted to emulate the success that he had. Although I may have never said it directly to him, I had always thought it.
Note the title of this letter as I am not writing it to you the horrible monster that has taken over again (i.e.-the current iteration of Mr. George Froehlich). I am writing it to the man who took action and took control of his demons some 14-15 years ago and got the help he needed. I was proud of you for that achievement and for the life you recovered into. I was happy to have you enjoy time with my kids, because you were good at it and put the time in with them.
The man I used to know loved to cook, and he made some amazing meals. Now the monster that has taken over likely only enjoys a beverage, and from time to time when his stomach can handle it a small bite or two of food so that the demon has more room for the precious booze it needs to survive.
Recently we had a birthday for your Dad (my 99-year-old grandfather). I wish I could have celebrated this with you, as you were just down the table from me, but again it was not you, it was the horrible monster who sat and enjoyed just a couple of drinks. I wondered why you left so early when you and your brother were hosting this event. Then I realized that the demon needs more than a couple of drinks, it needs copious amounts, so that it keeps down the will and spirit of my father.
So I have two things to ask you about this, will you ever find enough alcohol? I believe you will and it will be at the point where you finally kill my father, your host for this terrible roller coaster ride.
Secondly, if you are not a drunk and okay to handle your booze why would you leave our Grandfather’s 99th birthday so early, only to do so behind closed doors. I know that there is shame way down deep in you, but currently it is buried by this demon.
During our Grandfather’s 99th birthday you gave a quick speech about needing to tell people you love them more often. I am sure you had underlying tones in that speech, but if I have ever not said it enough to you, I can say that actions speak louder than words.
So rather than words, which I had tried on Friday night, I chose to show you with actions, as you no longer would take calls or listen to a text message. I took the action of camping outside of your hotel from 3am in the morning. I must say it was pretty cold in my car that evening, along with only my thoughts of what I would say or what I would do to convince you to let me get you help. Eventually I hung around the lobby, but I wanted to cover both the garage exit and the lobby, so I mainly stood around in the pouring rain, so I would not miss you. Once again my apologies if I never said I loved you enough all these years. I hope that my Father can realize that what I did was truly an act of love and caring.
When I saw the demon that has taken over the body of the man formerly known as my father come out of the elevator, I broke down. I could not speak, just weep. I believe the last time I cried was on September 11th 2001, I guess that means we have both recently ended long droughts!
As I spoke to this demon, complete with blood red eyes, and a breath as fowl as a dragon’s, I realized this would be difficult. I believe I started with “I love you” for apparently I and others have not told you that enough previously. It was difficult for me to do this in a rather busy lobby with many people being able to see what should have been a private conversation. However, to me that did not matter, I had to rescue the man formerly known as my father from the grasps of this demon. I told you what I did for you, I told you how much I cared, I told you that I could help you and that I wanted what is best for you. You simply told me no, and that you were going to New York with your enabler. I begged and pleaded and asked you to let me help you, and you turned your back on me.
I know how this all works, I know I was not actually talking to my father, rather, I was trying to slay this dragon long enough to let me help you. I am almost not even angry about your actions; I am sad to see what has taken over my father. I am sad that soon enough I may not be able to taste one of his great meals, or certainly that I may never be able to tell him I love you.
Have a great time in New York with your enabler. I can remember when you and Mom bought me and Jason (your other son) a trip to New York for graduation. It was an amazing experience! Since then I have been back for both business and pleasure at least a dozen times. I often thought it was the greatest city in the world, but now (if ever I return) it shall only be a place of terrible memories, as I can only imagine how this will end.
