Dear Snake In The Grass,
Let me start by saying thank you. Yes, thank you.
You were the man that waltzed into my life and pretended to make me feel special. My naivety at that time left me foolishly entrusting you with my two little girls, and later a third.
You managed to turn a woman who had the world by the tail into one who soon became the sole provider, but I know realize it wasn't about money....it was control.
So, thank you for finally pushing me over the edge into a darkness only to be understood by other parents whose children have endured such heartache. Why? Well sit down, wipe the smug narcissistic "I'm the victim" smile off your face and let me explain.
You, and you alone in the most tragic of ways made me find the once dynamic, witty, and smart woman I was again. I quickly realized, you had always been the snake in the grass I was warned about. You bore witness to our entire community to be truly careful and aware of who your children are around. Coaches, leaders and yes even men who are presumed dads, of which you are not.
Yes, you had control over my oldest daughter for so many years. But she has turned into a remarkable woman. To see the love she has for her own daughter warms my once broken heart. She often sees the warning signs in other families and is a fantastic support for any child or parent that is trying to heal from similar situations. Thank you for in your perverse way of teaching her how to heal others. You see, good will ALWAYS prevail.
You set the pace of verbal and physical abuse with me, but my second born was a close runner up. She was wise beyond her years, but you taught her to be smarter. She had to be to dodge the bullets and backhands that you so often served her. The verbal assaults, they may have taken their toll. But let me tell you a thing or two about perseverance. Once you regain your footing you rebuild yourself, the day you finally have the confidence to look in that mirror again your barely recognizable. That's precisely the person you so vehemently brag to have molded. She is strong, resilient & will one day soon put away abusers like yourself.
Lastly, the child born from our union. The child you used as leverage and still do today. Remember her? The child you only used as a trophy. The child who wasn't allowed to spend time with her sperm donor in the privacy of our home. The little girl whom in a small town had to learn in pre k about the unspeakable. The child you beat until she would wet herself, but showed off in public. Can you begin to imagine her confusion? Well, rest your pretty little mind. See she has a father for the first time, after asking my husband to be her "REAL DAD". As you know she now wears his name on the back of her jerseys as she breaks record after record. She is also the most faith filled child I've known.
You see, you helped us all become closer to God. If you think about it, that is what was truly missing in what we once called a household. FAITH, LOVE, TRUST, UNDERSTANDING, GOD! Not to worry because we are all shrouded in his protection now, and thank him daily for getting us through the our battles.
Thank you for our scars. You see, they remind us of how far we have come, and provide comfort to those we help on their journey of healing.
You didn't break or make us. Nor did we make or break you. Shame on you for hurting my little girls in horrific ways....but one day you, yes even you.....will stand before your maker and have some explaining to do.
Sincerely,
Stronger Than Ever
