You were an important piece of me, you were a big part of my life and I couldn't have seen the day coming where you weren't in it anymore. You knew me so well, I couldn't picture you not being here anymore just because.
As I wipe the tears from saying all of this, I want you to understand I'm writing this because I never got my own closure when you walked away, and that's something I desperately need because lately all I've been doing is wondering why our friendship that was once inseparable has become breakable and not important to you anymore.
You've hurt me and you're the last person I thought would. You were aware of the severe trust issues I had, you knew that it was a rare occasion if you saw me letting my walls come down to allow someone to come into my life, because people always leave. You knew how I felt about letting someone get too close to me, and you continued to reassure and promise me that you'd forever stick by my side and I guess that's just one more broken promise.
I think about you often and I think about all of the memories, good and bad, I think about the long days and even longer nights, I think about the times we've laughed so hard our stomachs hurt, I think about the times we've cried too, I think about all of the adventures and the moments we've created that I'll never be able to forget, even if I want to. We were so close, we were inseparable and I didn't think I'd have to start to get used to a life without you.
I would've done anything and everything for you. If you needed me I would drop everything I was doing just to make sure you are okay and you're in safe hands, no matter what time it was, if you called me and if you needed me, I was right there. Deep down I knew you wouldn't do the same but I wanted to think that, besides, that's just the kind of person I am and that's the heart I have. I have never once done you wrong like everyone else or your other friends, I couldn't do you like that even if I wanted to. Instead, I was there every single time to make sure you, my bestfriend, my little sister, was alright, even if you didn't deserve it. I gave all I had because I loved you and I cared about you more than anything, and maybe that was my first mistake..
At one point I think you really did care about me, at one point I think you were true to me, our friendship was real but it eventually became a one way street that has left me hanging, wondering where you went. It hurts me everytime I see you to realize that you don't care that I'm not in your life anymore because I was the kind of friend that would've been there for every part of your life and stuck by you regardless of anything bad, I was the friend that would stay and never leave you because I know how much it hurts when someone leaves, I would've never abandoned you, but I guess that's your loss.
I miss you. I miss who you used to be. I miss my bestfriend who would've never done this. But people change however I'm thankful that memories don't.
I will always love you like the younger sister I never had, and I will never stop caring about you, but I don't deserve to be standing here with confused thoughts and tears in my eyes waiting for you to come back.
Sincerely,
your old bestfriend
