An Open Letter to E-mail Scammers: Why I Won’t Donate To The Nigerian Prince

Dear Nigerian Prince,

Thank you for your e-mail. I am ever so sorry to hear that your funds are trapped. However as good as your claim sounds I have decided against it. Therefore you will not be receiving my bank account details. But I don’t want you to think I am making the wrong decision so please read on to find out all the reasons why I decided against taking you up on your wonderful offer.

Reason One – You Cannot Spell
Over the years I have received a number of e-mails from you and each one has been riddled with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. It has made me doubt that you are in fact a prince. If you had the amount of money you say you have I would have thought you would be able to spell. It also alarms me that a prince or government minister – whichever you are has got to such a high position without knowing how to spell.

Reason Two – I Found Out You Emailed Someone Else
In the e-mail you said you had contacted me because you could trust me and no one else. So I was very upset when I heard that you had e-mailed 3,000,000 other people saying exactly the same thing. You lost my trust by doing this.

Reason Three – It Sounds Too Good To Be True And Is
I was always taught that if something sounds too good to be true, then it probably isn’t. I cannot understand why you would contact me and offer me this amount of money. You don’t know anything about me. All you have is my e-mail address and even when you sent that you never used my name. This made me ask myself why would someone trust me with this amount of money when they don’t even know my name.

Reason Four – You Still Owe My Great Grandad Money
I recognized this scam as it has been around for years. Back in the 1920’s it was known as the Spanish Prisoner Scam. My great grandad fell for it and he still hasn’t received the funds. Unless I receive the funds he is owed the deal is off.

Reason Five – I Cannot Confirm Your Occupation
You have e-mailed me without fail every year for at least ten years now. On each e-mail you have changed your occupation. Sometimes you have said you are a prince others a government official and other times someone who simply wants to donate to my charity. Because of the mystery behind your occupation I have to decline on your offer.

Regards,
Richard Orban