I exist. You may be surprised to know that over the past 35 years, I have lived. I have found happiness. I have let go of a lot of the pain you and your family have caused. I am numb. I no longer sit and wonder how someone could dismiss an immediate member of their family simply because they were born. Simply because they exist. But that’s what you’ve done. And while you have not met my husband, my children, or heard my voice in so many years, I HAVE EXISTED.
And yet I have heard you from afar. I’ve heard the lies and the misconceptions you believe of things that happened to you. How you were wronged by those people in your life who did absolutely nothing but love you. Provide for you. Support you in every way. I’ve watched the same people try over and over again, only to be shut out every single time. I’ve heard their pain; I’ve seen their tears. But I haven’t shed one over you. Not anymore. And never again.
I’ve watched you give into the manipulation brought on by the one person in your life who is supposed to love and support you. But when someone defiantly ostracizes you from your family and friends - the people who actually cared about you - that person DOESN'T LOVE YOU. They want to control you, and because you have let that happen, you have willingly sold your soul to the devil by your side. You’re a big boy. You should have fought for us. You should have stood up for us. You should have given a shit about us at some point in your life, but you didn’t. You let it happen. You continue to let it happen. And that makes you a coward.
Why am I so harsh? Because for 35 years, I have lived knowing that someone who was supposed to be my family, be my friend, has devalued me in such a way that they have neglected to even acknowledge that I exist. But once again, let me remind you that I do.
Unfortunately, because you have neglected to acknowledge this, I know in my heart that these words will mean nothing to you. After all, you have no place in your heart for me, and in order for these words to sting you like I so wish they would do, you would have to have that space to begin with. You have to love someone to feel hurt by them. But you don’t. And sadly, some of the people in my life who mean the most to me have been affected by your lack of emotion, your lack of courage, your lack of acknowledging the truth. You continue to let a manipulative, conniving, calculating woman turn you into her personal puppet. But you will never find me in the crowd of your puppet show.
So, instead of sending this to you, I’m sending this out for everyone to see. Because, you see, while you have managed to forget I’m alive over these past 35 years, your wife hasn’t. And she has continued to manipulate people in your life who may have otherwise seen differently of me, of our parents, and of our brother had they known us and not listened to her. And I’ve remained silent. I’ve taken the high road. But the high road has taken me nowhere, and I’m tired of sitting quietly in a corner. You know, not existing.
I’ve witnessed your dog and pony show around the people whose opinions you value. And believe me, your performance has been Oscar-worthy. Bravo. However, I have also watched behind the scenes. I know who you are. I know who she is. And because I have always seen this transparency, you have not been a part of my time on this earth. You weren’t at my wedding. You didn’t get a phone call when my children were born. You haven’t watched me build a life, a business, a home.
I just hope that this whole time you have decided to sweep us all under the rug, you’ve been able to sleep at night. I hope you’ve enjoyed living a life without a mother, a father, a brother, and a sister for absolutely no reason other than the control of your manipulative wife, and your lack of courage to stand up to it and make things right.
I may have been young when you walked out of my life for good, but I wasn’t stupid, and I wasn’t blind. And I’ve only gotten wiser. But you wouldn’t know that. Because, after all, I don’t exist, right? Wrong.
