I've been thinking about you. By now, most everyone has read about or heard the letters written to the judge from your son and husband. I've been waiting to hear from you. But than I realized, we won't. Your son learned his behavior from someone and I'm sure it was from your husband.
I have a feeling Brock grew up watching his father silence his mother's voice. I have two daughters and I read the victim's letter to them and than had a very open and personal 45 minute conversation with my 12 year old daughter. Tears were shed. I imagined my own daughter in the young girl's footsteps and I could barely breathe.
We got through the conversation and hugged and later I dropped her off at a friends house to swim. But....I also have a 15 year old son. I'm going to make him also read the victim's letter but our conversation will be much different than my conversation with my daughter. It scares me to think my son could be capable of doing something similar to what your son did. It was when I started thinking about my son, I thought of you. I thought of Brock as a little boy and than years later as a boy in junior high and than high school. Where did it go wrong? He had to have learned his behavior from home, right? Was he ever told no? Was he given everything he wanted? Did you think you loved him so much, you protected him from ever being disappointed? Did he see his father silence you or dismiss you or treat you less than an equal? Did you have a voice? I believe my son is going to be fine. He is a kid with good values and character. He treats his sisters with respect and me with respect. But it didn't happen overnight. My son has grown up watching his father treat his wife with respect, love, encouragement, and most importantly, a voice to be heard. He has heard me say no to my husband. He has seen me stand up to my husband in a disagreement. He has witnessed my husband love me. My son, thankfully has been disappointed more times than I can count. He has been told no. He doesn't get everything he wants. We taught him how to respect girls and right from wrong. When he went on his first date, we made him go to the door, ring the bell, and introduce himself to the girl's parents. We made him shake their hands and look them in the eye. We made him walk his date to the door to make sure she got in safely. He is an athlete just like Brock. He is a good student just like Brock. But when things don't go his way, we don't step in and blame the coaches or blame the teachers.
In other words, we hold him accountable. We make him play harder and study harder. I don't believe Brock was born a bad kid. In fact, I'm sure he was a pretty good kid. Aren't all kids? My guess is Brock learned at an early age how to get his way. He learned early how to act when he was told no. He learned early how to manipulate people. Based on your husband's letter, I have a feeling who Brock learned his behaviors from. I hope you get some peace from all of this but more importantly, I hope you walk away from this with your own voice.
