Mr. Carson,
I have a bone to pick with you. I was initially very angry when I heard your view on abortion in cases of rape and incest. Anger never resolves anything so I am going to tell you why I believe you need to rethink this. I understand why people are so passionate about this topic. Just because someone is pro-choice, does not make them pro-abortion. I am not writing to debate abortion in general. There are too many what ifs. I'm specifically writing about rape and incest. Your views scare me, and this is why.....
I was molested by my step father. He married my mother when I was four and adopted me when I was five. I grew up calling him dad. He molested me and he watched me in the shower. I grew up insecure, afraid and confused. I thought every father behaved the same way. I was angry, I hurt myself, I slept around and I felt gross. Long story short, my life turned around. I was lucky. I am lucky. I have an amazing husband as well as amazing and very loved children.
I was never raped. I can only imagine. Had my step father raped me, if I was forced to carry his child, I can imagine how horrible that would feel. I can imagine because I was molested. I have a uterus. I have been pregnant. I am a woman. But I will never know what it actually feels like, I don't want to. But I think sometimes we need to think about the terrible things in life. Think outside of ourselves. Put ourselves in others shoes, for the greater good. I cannot imagine having to make that choice either way. If you give up the child, you are giving away a piece of yourself. The scars still on your body are always a reminder. If you keep the child, it's a piece of him, a piece of the abuser. I'm not saying there is no way for a mother to love this child, but think about this…what if the victim lives in the home of the person who raped her? If she lives with him, he still has control of her and now another potential victim. He has the power.
Imagine your daughter has been raped. I know that is hard to imagine because you do not have a daughter, three sons, correct? Having a daughter is different than having a son. I know because I have both. But imagine someone attacks your child. Now your child, still a child, becomes pregnant. You would really make her keep this child? You are a doctor. Just think, a mix of hormones, pain, both physical and mental. She would hurt. She would hate you. She would feel confused as to how you thought you could speak for her. A HIM speaking for HER body!
Now imagine it was your wife. What would you do? Would you raise the child? Make her give the child away? Could you love this child as your own? How is this unborn child's FUTURE life, more important than the one already living? The woman you chose to love honor and protect. What about her life? Who are you to make that decision? You do not have a uterus. You CANNOT get pregnant. You are NOT a woman.
Outlawing abortion in cases of rape and incest does not protect every unborn child out there. What it will do is protect every abuser, pedophile and rapist. It will protect their right as the father, even though they are to become a father through force. It will keep the rapist in control of the victim, of every young girl and woman out there, of every young girl and woman that had no choice when the pile of filth lay upon her, spread her legs and raped her. Who is protected then? Not the victim. Where is her choice? She said no, but she had no choice.
You will never see it from a woman's perspective. You will only see it from the side of control. Not from her side. You are taking away her right to decide, her right to make this difficult, horribly painful decision. This is no different than holding her down while she is being raped. She has no control while her rapist lies on top of her. And now she has no control of who she grows in her body. This should be her choice. Not a man's.
A few more questions.....
What about sex trafficking?
And when do you consider the mother's life in danger? When she's attempting to harm or kill herself? When's she's a young child herself?
And how young is too young to carry a pregnancy?
You may have struggled in your life, in your youth, and I applaud you for pulling yourself from the rubble. For gaining self control, for deciding to make good choices. It sounds like you really had a hard life and you are proud of the changes you made, the steps you took to gain control of your life and become a better person. I can't relate to your struggles. And you can't relate to mine. I can close my eyes and imagine how difficult your life may have been. I can imagine your pain. I believe that's what we call empathy. I'm trying to put my feet in your shoes, so I can understand, how you think the way you do. How you can decide what's right for me? What's right for the victim? Even if, god forbid, you've been sexually abused...you STILL can't relate fully. What you are telling victims to do, you can't do yourself! You don't have a uterus; you can't get pregnant and carry a child. Because you are NOT a woman!
There are certain things you can't get over. Certain things you will never forget. You will go on, but you'll never get over it. We all handle traumatic events in different ways. If you could get pregnant and you were a woman and god forbid, you were raped, maybe you would decide to carry and even possibly keep the child. There are women that do that! And they are amazing women! I couldn't do it. And that should ALWAYS be my choice. Not yours. Not someone who is the same gender as my attacker, as the rapist who took my power away. You, who can relate more to the person who molested me, should not speak for me, the victim. Ever! It's not your choice. You do not have a uterus. You cannot get pregnant and carry a child. You are not a woman.
I hope you rethink your stance on this matter. As possible future president you are leading men and women. You need to fight for men and women's rights. Not take them away. Your way would be to make women second class citizens. Take away our freedom? It really scares me. When a woman has an abortion, the reason is not always black and white. Just because a woman has an abortion, doesn't mean she doesn't love life, value life, or respect life. In many cases it means she was not respected. Her life was not loved. She was not valued. And now she is left with a powerfully painful decision, one that will not leave her feeling good, with whichever decision she makes. But if she has the right to choose, her choice, whichever one it is, may help her regain control and help her to become the survivor that she is meant to be.
Sincerely,
Previous victim forever fighting to remain the amazing survivor that I am!
