An Open Letter to the Bay Area Punk Community and to my Partner of six years Mykee Ramen,

Subject: An Open Letter to the Bay Area Punk Community and to my Partner of six years Mykee Ramen,
Date: 5 Mar 2017

I would like to start this by saying it is difficult for me to write these things.
For a long time, I felt like I never had support or anyone to take what I am about to say seriously.
It affected me to the point where I had to get up and leave my home state.
I wish there was an easy way to do this, I wish my ex partner could just come out and apologize to me, be open about the things he has done, and be accountable.
Unfortunately, this hasn't happened, and here we are.

Around the time of late February/Early March 2011, I had hung out with Sturgeon from Leftover Crack about 3 or 4 times.
Once was at a show that his band played, and later that night in his hotel room.
I spent the night there but in a separate bed.
I later went home that morning by myself.
The last time I hung out with him was in New York at his house.
I returned to Richmond, CA where I was staying with Mykee.
Nothing happened between me and Sturgeon those times we hung out,
but Mykee has gone on a jealous and angry campaign against me ever since then.
He has spread rumors that Sturgeon raped me, which did not happen.
He has spread rumors that Sturgeon used hypnotic suggestion to lure me and rape
me which DEFINITELY did not happen.
The years I spent with Mykee since these incidents have been painful, manipulative, and caused me to suffer from PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder, which I have an official doctor's diagnosis.
Mykee spent the last few years of our relationship trying to convince me over and over again
that I was raped.
I know for a fact that I was not, but when someone says something to you over and over again,
you start to question your own perception.
I refuse to let anyone alter my own perception of things, but it has caused me great pain.
Mykee has also used these incidents to justify his own abuse against me, such as cheating on me,
telling other people we we're in an open relationship (which we never agreed on), and
having unprotected sex with other people without my consent or knowledge.
He has blamed me for his own shortcomings and why his band is not "famous" and held me to ridiculous and unrealistic standards that he felt I should fulfill.
These compounding instances…….have been very, very hard for me to face.

I left the Bay Area to hopefully bring an end to the suicidal thoughts and emotional manipulation that I thought had no end.
It is with this hope of ending this heartache and pain that I write this open letter.

Mykee is not the victim.
I am.

I have tried to be his friend and support him but I cannot continue to do this anymore.
I demand accountability, which I feel I am greatly owed.
I want Mykee to come forth and admit publicly that the rape rumors are not true, and I want him to public apologize to me and everyone who has suffered from these rumors.
I want him to publicly admit the hurt and years of abuse he has done against me before
he is allowed to have shows and be accepted back into the community.
I want a dialogue between Mykee and Scott Sturgeon with a mediator present.
I have suffered enough, and I ask for support.

And to Mykee, I say this to you……

Those countless nights I spent crying, begging, pleading you to forgive me, only to have you demand that I stab Sturgeon to prove that I am loyal to you….You have changed my life forever.
I fear trusting anyone again.
My self image has forever been ruined.
I cannot help but blame myself for everything.

-Jenn Autry