to the one who loved me when I was unlovable

Subject: to the one who loved me when I was unlovable
From: A recovering self harm addict
Date: 14 Mar 2017

I never thought ever two years ago that I would meet someone like you. I don't recall how it all played out. But it wasn't long until you found out I was self-harming. I asked you if you were going to leave. You told me to trust you. You said you would never leave. You didn't understand it. You tried everything. I remember that part clearly. You were not my mom. You weren't even family. You never had to stay.
I didn't believe you. I thought you would leave as soon as things got hard. You talked me through my nightmares and tried to help me reach the best person I could be. and it wasn't long until I learned to love and trust you. It has not been easier. Sometimes I know I'm a burden and you may at times wish you never met me but you never let that show. The first time I remember thinking you were forever was the day I was crying. I tried to stop. I never liked showing any weakness. And when I looked up I saw you were crying too. When I asked why you were crying. you simply replied because you were hurting.
When I said I wanted to die you just told me that it will get better and that you still loved me. I wondered How the hell you could love someone as broken as me.
I was so broken and scared and alone. I didn't know how to do this whole friendship thing. I had always been on my own. You gave me a chance anyway.
I want to thank you. Thank you for all the little thing. for showing me I can be loved. and that I deserve better. For being patient with me and teaching me how to love myself. for the random text when I had barely talked to you and a week. For the encouragement. For so many things that it would take forever to name. But most importantly thank you for being you and deciding to love me through my depression.


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