Today you told me that your mistress and your son will be celebrating the New Year's eve with us. You broke to me that news in a very casual way, like it is a normal thing to do. You were oblivious of my momentary silence, not even aware how it made me tensed. Images of our innocent children came to my mind, how they were so excited to welcome the new year with mom and dad. I was excited, too. For the last 3 years, we celebrated in your absence. I thought, this year would be different. Little did we know that you have a heartbreaking plan. You invited an intruder. I'd love to have your son with us but your mistress is just too much. What happened? Have you lost every ounce of respect for our family? Why? What have I done to deserve this kind of agony? Have you even thought about how I'd feel? How about your children? Don't you really care about them anymore? What made you come up with that plan? Are you trying to make me and your children see the reality in a very harsh way? It's so painful that there isn't any glimpse of guilt in your eyes. I wanted to say how cruel you are but then again, I kept silent. Funny that my heart was bleeding but my tears refused to fall. I wanted to clap for being able to maintain my composure. I have mastered the art of hiding my pain.
Despite my painfully pounding heart, I smiled and said I'll leave the kids with you and I'll go somewhere else. You even tried to convince me to just stay so the kids won't be uncomfortable. I know my children- it would be more uncomfortable for them if I'm around. They'll be checking on me all the time. I'll give way once more. I'll let you have my kids this time but there'll be no more. We'll celebrate the next occasions together - me and my children. I am officially eliminating you from the family picture.
Honestly, I was still hoping and praying for our family to be restored. But I guess, wanting us to meet your girlfriend is your way of making our separation official. The day which I dreaded the most has finally came. This should be the end. Yes, the matter is on my hands now. I am freeing myself from the misery of brokenness and false hopes. One day, I and my children will be healed. Whatever you do in the future will no longer inflict any emotions in me and your children.
Thank you for the closure.
