Dear, dear Morgan,
I took my time before writing your letter because I didn’t know where to start. I have so much to tell you, and I know how much I am going to hurt you. I am ashamed, but I couldn’t just leave, writing to everyone and not you. So here goes nothing.
I didn’t believe in instant connection before meeting you. That is to say, I had the chance to meet my soulmate when I was nine years -old, and that is awesome. I had the joy to understand someone just by looking at them, to laugh until I cried, to be eased by a simple touch, to trust with all my life. I had the chance to love someone more than myself and meeting you changed me for the better every day because you piss me off as much as you make my day brighter.
It is hard reading you, sometimes. Since I was so at ease with showing my emotions, it was hard to understand if you cared or not behind that straight face of yours. Even if I could sense so much gentleness in your voice, even if your gestures and calls would tell me that you were my protector, I always had a doubt, at the back of my mind. I thought I loved you way, way more than you liked me.
But you proved me wrong.
You would always mask your true thoughts with a joke, with a waffle, with a tender gesture but you weren’t exactly talkative. You would always respect my decisions while being bluntly honest if I asked for your thoughts. You were patient and let me talk for hours with a cup of tea, letting my head rest on your knees. But one day in twelve grade changed everything. High School expedition, only Ed, you, and I. We were facing the stars, lying in the wet grass and you started talking, out of nowhere.
“You are not okay. Stop saying you are”. You started telling me how much you cared without stopping and I stared at you in awe, in complete disbelief of what I was hearing. You, who were so discrete were suddenly so serious and sweet. You took me by the shoulders while I was shaking my head and you whispered, with the softest voice. You asked me to look at you but I couldn’t, and I regret it because your eyes were surely liberating. You said “You have to stop thinking you can fix a vase that is already broken. You have to stop thinking you wanted all this to happen. You never wished to suffer. You never wished to be harassed.” I started crying and you held my hands, for the first time in all those years we knew each other. Ed caressed my back and I thought I would die of happiness because I was so overwhelmed with kindness. As I was walking back to our tents, I squeezed both of your hands and I wanted this moment to last forever. I didn’t think it was possible because we were so close already, but I think our relationship got even stronger after that night.
“You are perfect to me”. Who knows Mr. Sinister could say such an adorable thing?
I don’t even know if you remember this expedition because first, your memory is fucking terrible. Second, because it was always normal to you to be by my side, to say the right thing at the right moment.
You are the funniest without meaning to, you are the worst liar even at bad moments, you are the most patient because you don’t really mind anything. I remembered when we ran around the neighborhood with Ed and you would cover for our bullshit all the time because nobody would suspect quiet Morgan being part of some evil scheme. Little did they knew you were the biggest nine years old’s conspiracy theorist the planet ever knew and that we were only investigating. I cannot imagine my life without you, and even less what my existence would have been without you. Probably dull. With lots of drugs/ominous dudes/naked women.
...Or at least much more than now.
That’s why we were the perfect partners in crime. You were an oblivious dork angel paired with some kind of emotional demon.
We should have had a novel series based on us because it would be hilarious. (wink wink Good Omens. Gimme product placement)
I guess this is kind of strange that such a first-degree dude who never got one inch of irony got along so well with a sarcastic witch, but that's what kept me down to earth.
Thank you for being my friend. I couldn’t have kept going that long if it weren’t for you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. It was never your place to save my emo ass, but you did the best job in the world, and I will be forever grateful. You are so important to this world, and to me.
To my soulmate, my brother, my best friend, my favorite person ever.
-Tara
