To my family: Thank you for your abuse.

Subject: To my family: Thank you for your abuse.
From: A ruined Child
Date: 7 Dec 2021

Thank you for laughing when you told me my brother tried to have sex with me when i was 2 years old... not knowing he succeeded when i was 4.

Thank you for being so wrapped up in your own problems, that you completely ignored your girlfriend's son beating me until i let him have sex with me, every single day, and making me take naps with him in the same bed, perpetuating the act.

And Thank you so much for calling me a liar when i told you about it, because i was "only 9 and didnt know what sex was" and there were no bruises to prove the beatings.
--Because of you, i always take my kids claims at face value and believe them until proven false.

Thank you for knowing this was happening and not only not doing a thing to stop it, but finding ways to help him be alone with me.
--Because of you, my children have been educated in what is and is not appropriate behavior between themselves, with other children and adults with children.

Thank you for "not believing in mental illness" my entire life so that i never got an ounce of help until i was well into my 20s and had children of my own.
--Because of you, i am a vigilant advocate for my children's mental health and wellness needs.

Brother, Father, and Grandmother:
Thank you for torturing me both mentally and physically about my weight (my ENTIRE life), to the point where i cannot be in the same room with ANY person, including my own husband and children, without perpetual anxiety, discomfort, and self hatred over my appearance.
--Because of you, i know exactly what to NEVER say to my children, so they dont develop complex with an unhealthy self-image; I can teach them self-esteem that was never taught to me.

Thank you for the weirdly overly sexual nature of our relationship that taught me not even family can be around me without ulterior motives.
--At least i am never surprised when people always ultimately want something sexual from me.

"The same boiling water that hardens the egg, softens the potato"

I could've let your abuse make me as cold-hearted & evil as you.

I chose to be the potato.
I chose to let it make me softer, kinder, gentler, more understanding and empathetic of other's situations.
I chose to be what i wish i could've seen as a child.
I chose to be the trusted adult that believes the child's claims, when others call them liars.
I chose to be the advocate for mental health, when others say "they're just acting out" or "just looking for attention".
I chose to be the adult saying "Thats inappropriate" while others say "kids will be kids".

So Thank you.
For your abuse.