The most likely case is that you believe that I hate you, and that would make sense considering I haven't made a single attempt to contact you in years. In fact we've even ended up in same place, same time senarios where I've done everything to avoid any sort of conversation with you. Your beliefs are wrong, more than anything I'm worried about you, and sorry that after all those years together
I wasn't able to help you help yourself.
Just to set something straight, by no means do I miss you, or us. Let's be honest our relationship as a whole was the definition of toxic, all admit on both sides for a while. And as you know I'm married now with a family, the last couple of years have been kind to me. I was hoping that by now the years would have been kind to you as well....
I recently decided to check in on you, you know we still have mutual friends, and I honestly can help myself from being concerned. This path you've continued to choose makes me think you'll end up dead. It was a hard decision for me to make to stop trying to help you, as I'm sure it was for alot of people in your life. But the last couple of years have proven that no matter how hard anyone tries, you can't save someone who doesn't want to save themself. All I can do know is continue to hope that you eventually decide to straighten out your life. Because regardless of the fact that I don't love you anymore, you will always hold a place in my life.