To My Ex-Best Friend.

Subject: To My Ex-Best Friend.
From: C
Date: 8 Jan 2020

So, I don’t know that I’ll ever post this or bring your attention to it, but I thought I’d get it out. You were my best friend all the way until high school. My other half. No one could tear us apart. At least that’s what I thought.
I still don’t completely understand how it all happened so fast. It’s like I blinked and I had been replaced by someone new. Someone who I didn’t think would do something like that to me. And I don’t know if it was because of the boy I liked, which didn't work because I ended up dumping because I found out how bad it hurt you. But If it was about him I was completely blinded to your feelings because of how I felt for him and it was so stupid on my part. Or maybe it was because your new friends were pretty and popular and I was still kinda dorky and awkward and depressed. Either way, we didn’t make it.
I remember the day it all really sunk in. My mom saw that you and, we’ll call her Anna, had been hanging out all of the time and that you had made a new post. In that post you called her your best friend and wrote a big long paragraph about how much you loved her and how much she meant to you. I remember reading it and sobbing because I realized what had just happened. I lost my best friend to someone new.
I’ll admit, for a while I was so angry and hurt I didn’t realize what I had done to contribute to it. I should’ve been there for you more. Maybe if we had tried to talk it out, maybe it could’ve worked. I just wish I had come to terms with my own wrongs sooner. All I saw was you and her and me being left out.
We continued to be friends for a while. You set me up with the love of my life which I’ll always thank you for, even though I was told it was just to get him to leave Anna alone. But nonetheless, he’s my best friend. And I’ll forever be grateful to you for introducing us. But after all of this, me and you just weren’t the same. Some drama happened and your boyfriend at the time and mine had a falling out and so did we.
We became friends again around 2017 and you were going through so much. I wish I would’ve done more to try and help. But in the back of my mind I still only thought about how if I got close again I’d only be replaced again and it hurt so bad. Well I’m glad we did get close again for a while. It was so nice to have you back in my life. And then there was drama with out mutual toxic friend and it drove us apart again.
I wish back then I wasn’t so much of a people pleaser and a wimp. I should’ve stood up against her and then told you how o really felt about everything but I didn’t. And that’s my biggest regret. Not trying harder. If I could go back that would be the one thing I’d change.
Now this isn’t me trying to weasel my way back into your life because you’ve finally found the man of your dreams and you’re getting married and you’re doing your own thing and I just want you to know how truly proud I am of you. For all that you’ve been through. You’ve braved more than anyone I know and you’re still strong.
I’m so sorry for any pain that I’ve caused you. It’s been long enough and this is the year I wanna let everyone know how I really feel because you never know how much time we have left. So you don’t have to respond or anything, you can just read this and then go on with your life, but I just needed you to know that I’m sorry. For everything. And I forgive you for anything you might have done to me, because let’s be honest, we both hurt each other without realizing it at the time. But I hope you can forgive me someday and we can put the tension to rest.
I still love you, like my own sister. I mean we grew up at each other’s houses. My parents still love you like you’re their daughter they never had. I’m sorry for how much I wrote but I think it got my point across.
If you ever need ANYTHING, and I truly mean this from the bottom of my heart, I’m always here. No matter what we’ve put each other through. No matter the fights and the tears and all of the happy memories, I’ll always be here if you need me. I’m happy for you that you’re happy again. I know how much you’ve been through and I’m so sorry for any pain that I contributed.