I still think about you every day that will never change. But what will is the guilt that stayed with me for two years about how everything was ended between us. you loved me no matter what you helped me learn things that i appreciate so much such as how to throw a good punch and how to throw a football. Being the only girl in on the street the boys were brutile to me and i took it and then you a scrawny 12 year old boy stepped in, in a good way helping me learn how to handle myself. make me tougher than i already was. Later in high school my first year you where a sophomore. you walked home with us every day and everyday you would text me in class when i would tell you something was bothering me. you always said the right thing to shut my loud mouth up and you always calmed me down. i never thought that i would love you more than a brother but then when i had to chose between the guy i ended up dating and you i chose him. and you never made me feel bad about it. my sophomore year and your junior year those first two months you drove me home and played loud music but then my boyfriend got jealous and asked me to stop seeing you as much and me being the young niave girl i listned and kept my distance from you. my best friend who had done so much for me. and then they made that announcment at school that you had passed and i just went silent for days. just walked around numb all the time gone was my loud behavior and sass that i never woke up with out. And then came the question that should have woken me up to how i felt about you. My boyfriend asked me a week after you had passed if i had loved you and i had imdiatly said well not like a boyfriend. ANd the more i think about it had said that to him to make him upset but in realtiy i didnt love you like a boyfriend i loved you so much more you were everything to my and my past and helpping when i needed it and i now i take your advice you use to tell me that i was boring a lot. or lived in my bubble becuase i found it comfortable but now 2 years latter im finally moving on. im breaking out of my bubble and im doing something that makes me uncomfortable at first but in the end makes me happy. I am dating anew guy now and i told him about you and i feel like you would like him. He resoects that a portion of my heart will always belong to that scrawny 12 year old that stoof up for me and helped in ways no one else will comprehend. I still talk to you everyday and think about what you would say if you could talk to me in situations that i would need you. But just when i think that im losing everything i hear your voice and the way you sued to shout down the street when leaving, "ps i love you".
Thank you for being in my life and changing it so much in a positive way i will forever love you and miss you.
p.s. i still love you more
