I know you. I know your tea preference. I know your favorite movie (Dirty Dancing, as embarrassing as that is.) I know where to find the green tea you hide in your basement. I know that no one will ever care that I don't bother to knock when I come over anymore. And most importantly, I know your heart.
You are loving in your own special and unique way. You have a really hard time saying how you feel and I can relate. I know you put yourself out there and get hurt and it hurts me to see you so hurt.
A boy in high school probably isn't going to matter in 10 years. If he does, we'll reevaluate. (Unless you end up with some super crazy love story and you meet up again at the same university ...) You deserve someone genuine, like you.
I know you've had a dark time. I had one too. When you find a man it's going to be hard to talk about it. You shouldn't be embarrassed though, it's real. It happened. You went through your own hell. If you meet someone and they haven't gone through their own hell, how can they truly relate? They can certainly try though.
Right now we're currently caught up with senior year and making things count and maybe that's good. Maybe we need this distraction from gross teenage boys. But it's hard to get around them when you don't even know them. I mean, we've spent over twelve years with these boys in our class and don't know a single thing about them. I'm interested to know them, not on an intimate level just, what's your favorite color?? I know you like this guy and what do you have to lose from liking and talking to him? Not much of anything.
You only have things to offer him, you know. Your charm. Your hilarious wit. Your extensive knowledge about One Direction and the McDonald's menu. (Which is sure to WOW him.) You will care about someone greatly. You will eventually love with all of your heart someone who loves you back just as much. You deserve it. You're stronger than you like to admit.
I want only good things for you. To spend as much time as possible on some beach. (Take me with you.) Hike and zip line through the Ole Smoky Mountains with someone you love. Honeymoon in Paris and drink too much wine and pretend to solve a crime in the Louvre. Live as much as you possibly can. You don't have all the time in the world.
Most importantly, however, don't stop feeling. I never want you to feel numb again. Feel a man loving you and never forget that feeling. I never want you to feel like you're unworthy, because you are more than worth it.
You will never know what something feels like until you try. Take your chances and take them with wisdom. I only hope that one day I can heed this advice, (I've heard it's worth it.)
I love you more than you could imagine. You are beautiful and powerful and made in the image of your Heavenly Father. Never forget that. (A man, or boy, doesn't have to tell you that. Just a best friend.)
With all of my love,