Honestly, I don't know where i should begin. Honestly there are things i don't think you would understand, nor care about hearing from me or my sister. did you know?
I have a sister. there are two of us. Two of us that are roaming this earth with a piece of us missing every single day. A Piece of us that can't be bought back, replaced or made up for. A Piece that YOU, sir took from us.
September, 23rd, 2009. Six years ago you loaded up a 20 Gauge shotgun and took two lives. As my father laid in the bed asleep, you loaded that gun up and you plotted to murder him. Not only him, but your own sister who was sleeping beside him. Did you know that me and my sister found out our father was murdered through the internet? can you imagine that? Imagine waking up and turning on the news to see paramedics carrying two black bags down a familiar driveway knowing that inside one is your own father?
Knowing there wasn't a chance to say goodbye, there wasn't a warning, there was no time... it was done. Sir, to be quite honest, that day I made up my mind that I'd get revenge. About a week after you murdered two human being's, I was forced to be the one that had to enter the crime scene to retrieve my father's belongings. I arrived to the house to find what? Blood stains, body matter, and scar's etched in my memory that will never go away. I broke down. I sat there and cried and cried for hours on end screaming. But, did you care? No, Sir. Your sentencing court date when asked if you'd like to say anything, your exact words were, "Where are my clothes?". There were no apologies, no remorse and no sympathy for what you had done. You ruined several lives that day. But, Unlike you I'm not selfish and I know just how many you ruined aside to me and my sister's. Your daughter's were present for your court date. I actually interacted with one of your daughters at wal-mart not long after your court date. As I approached her she shook in fear. Why? because of YOU. You created that fear in her. The fear of retaliation. I told her, "I'm not mad at you, Katie. I'm mad at your father". And Oh, was I. That first year, I sat up EVERY night plotting on how i could get to you, how i could make you feel the pain I felt. Frankly, How i could murder you. You cannot fathom the emotion's, the thought's and the action's I experienced over the next few years. I became angry, bitter and I harbored a hatred that would snap at the likeliness of your name. I hated you with everything in me. I wanted you dead. In a box, in the dirt just like my father. I spent a majority of my time using alcohol to drown the anger and pain. It got so bad that there was a time in my life, i tried to take my own. See, you disconnected me from the world. You took the heart from my very chest and your bullets went through it all the same. I struggled to connect with people, I struggled to feel emotions that most people enjoy in life. But mostly, I struggled with the burden of your actions. I bet you didn't know that my father just started being a "father" did you? for 18 years, he wasn't a part of my life. We just started establishing a relationship and you soon after took that away from me. I've lived these past six years with anger in my heart, pain in my mind, memories i can't erase that NO MAN should ever have to see, or relive. But, let me tell you this, Sir... I found god. Do you know god? Do you know Jesus Christ? Do you know that he died so that we might live? Do you know that every single day, every single night that i pray for god to cleanse my heart of the anger, the pain & the unforgiveness? I certainly do, sir. But what I'd put my bottom dollar on is that you don't know that I pray for you. I pray that you find the same peace and comfort through God. Wait, what? Did I say that? Yes, I said that. I hope you find peace and comfort and what I mean is that I hope you find God, Mr. Stack. I hope that god touches your heart as he has touched mine and allows you to forgive yourself. I don't know that you're apologetic for your actions, But i do know that one day you will stand before god and account for what you done. And Quite honestly, Sir... I pray that you find yourself and forgive yourself as I have forgiven you through the love of Jesus Christ.
John 3:16 - Fore God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that who so ever shall believe in him shall not perish, but have ever lasting life.
Mr. Stack, I forgive you of your trespasses as the Lord has forgiven me of mine. I forgive you for the pain you inflicted on me, and so many others. I forgive you, and I I ask Jesus to forgive you and bring a peace to your heart. Why you may ask? Because God is love & his power is real and no man who walks earth should have to feel unloved, cast out, left out or the things that I've felt in just 26 years. Put this in your heart, Mr. Stack... Forgive as forgiven.
