I have felt every painful emotion there is. This time around it’s been different, betrayal, disbelief, and confusion surrounding everyone I love. I hope you read this and I mean every word, maybe you’ll even believe me for once. (Also this is my pov on this) not that any of you have asked.
July : I saw him, he was riding his bike over the beach bridge and boy have I liked him for a while. There was something about him, he was quiet and kept to himself, I had to know more about him. We started talking and I felt different around him, somewhat safe.
August: We are dating! Sure he doesn’t take me out on dates or do much but he’s nice and I’ll take it. At this point I’m sooo into this boy I had opened up ab stuff and school was starting. This seemingly sweet boy was “perfect” I couldn’t find red flags and he was like a boy from a movie. He made cookies with me, we were patient with eachother, gosh he even watched the notebook. I met his family too, his mom was a red flag and dad was absent but I love them.
September: I find myself talking about him 24/7 which isn’t normal (I realize that now) I felt like I had to prove myself to him as if I wasn’t worthy. His bsf and I noticed he had gotten an ego and started changing, we just wanted that boy back. Shit started hitting the fan, I was in a cycle of pushing myself away from him while being dependent on him. I started only devoting time to him but it was okay because he was better than my ex’s.
November: holy crap stuff changed, in 3 months everything changed. I had told him he love bombed me or that was how I felt. I’d go to him ab how I was feeling and it would be turned into a fight. Somehow it was always “you ruined this because you didn’t take your meds” (I have a ss of me telling him to take his because he didn’t and it hurt him).