I find it very difficult to write this letter to you, especially since we've never had the opportunity to meet, but I want you to have the opportunity to know a little bit about me.
I am a Veteran of the Armed Forces, honorably discharged after 6 years. I am a musician, guitar mainly. I also ride motorcycles and I enjoy making people laugh, and I love to hunt and fish. I am also a husband and a father(which brings me to the hardest part, the truth).
I met your mom 3 years before you were born, while I was in the military. I cannot tell you that everything was great because it wasn't. I can, and will, tell you that we both made mistakes. Since I was in the military they could send me anywhere they wanted and they did. In August before you were born I got orders to go overseas. I couldn't tell them no and so I went. Every weekend I would call your mom at the same time and, after 3 weeks, she told me not to call or write and not to come back. Needless to say, I was hurt but I honored her wishes.
It wasn't long after that, a few weeks, that I got a letter from her. She told me that she was pregnant with you and that if I didn't want to respond then she would see me in a few months. Without hesitation, I called her and we agreed to do what was best for you.
Over the next few months we talked a lot over the phone and she even sent me a box of toys indicating that you were a boy and a sonogram picture. I was very excited to become a father, and a little bit scared too. The month that you were born I got leave to come back to the states and be there for your birth. Your mom picked me up at the airport and seemed in good spirits. We stopped at a restaurant and had dinner and suddenly your mom asked me why I had came back. I answered the only way I could, which was to say that I wanted to be a part of your life. She then told me that there was nothing there for me. I paid for dinner and we left.
As we walked to the vehicle she was driving, she suddenly turned to me and said, "HE'S NOT YOURS!", and drove away. She left me standing there on the side of the road after months of telling me I was going to be a father.
I called her a few days later and tried to talk to her about doing a paternity test but she refused. I can only hope that we get a chance to meet one day and possibly find out the truth, but until then I will think of you every day. Please understand that I didn't abandon you, that was decided by someone else. I have no I'll will toward your mom, in fact, I wish her the best. I sincerely apologize to you for not being a better man and for not being there for you. Maybe one day we can have the relationship that you and I were denied and put the past to rest.