I am so angry with you. I have displaced anger that is coming out in all parts of my life. I let the lies you projected on to me affect me and I should know better. I am so angry at myself for defending and explaining myself to you again.
You always come back to this: how I make you feel stupid, degraded, unintelligent, small, dumb, and lacking just because of who I am.
You always call me a smart ass (which would mean I am making sarcastic remarks regarding your intelligence or other personal issues) which I do not.
You state I ask too many questions and that makes you angry. When I ask you which ones, you can't answer. When I ask you which statements I have made, you can tell me which one. When I ask for specific behaviors, you can't list one.
You have also stated that I intentionally talk down to you. When I ask you what you mean by this you have stated that I speak to you like you are a student or a client. When I asked you if you had ever heard me speak to either of those populations, you couldn't answer. I know for a fact that you have not, even when your own daughter applied to my school.
You say I have "gotten worse" with "correcting people" and being "a smart ass" in the last six months? I've gotten more confidence in myself as I have gotten more knowledge in specific subject areas. I only answer questions that you have asked me, specifically if I think one of my nieces has ASD. My response was based on the specific area of information that I have training in - NOT a "smart ass" opinion. Perhaps if you don't want a professional mental health answer to your question you should not ask questions in that field.
Further, I asked you several questions that were outside of my knowledge base and didn't get a burr in my saddle when you displayed your knowledge and gave me advice. Can you not handle someone knowing something you don't? You need to get over that - no one can know everything.
Finally, I will not adjust myself to fit you because my very cells irritate you. Do you not realize that every adult female -aside from your daughter and especially those in your family- no longer want anything to do with you because of your corrosive attitude (don't know what that means - look it up. There is no shame in grabbing a dictionary and figuring out what something means. Shoot, I kept and still do have a dictionary on my phone so I can look up words people use at work that I don't know.
You need to work on you and stop trying to work on me. I am in multiple therapy sessions and have been working on myself for several years now. None of what you mentioned sounds like me at all. So I can only conclude that you either don't want to know me, are making up reasons not to like me or are projecting your feelings onto me. All of which will require professional help, which you need to seek as soon as possible before you hurt anyone else.
Until that time, please keep in mind that I will not allow you to be an active part of my life as you are toxic to me and have shown your true feelings about me (once again); however, you have also upset your brother who will not tolerate this type of blatant disrespect and toxic harm to his family - so we are out of most of the family outings.
Do not expect me to bow down, turn my cheek, ignore this behavior because I have tried all of those things and they do not work with you so until this is dealt with I'm out, whatever that looks like.
K, I love you and I want our family to be together. But I will not tolerate an emotionally abusive SIL and will protect myself and my family if that means NO relationship with you. I realize you will probably withdraw the nieces from our lives as you have been using them as weapons against the other relatives, but that will be on you when they wonder why they have no family.
Please, stop projecting your crap onto me. You don't know me and haven't gotten to know me yet. Work on you so we can work on us.