Here it goes...
Dear Shane,
I would like to start my letter by saying I do miss you lot and everyday I never missed a day not thinking of your well being and how I wish I could have save a part of me to remind you that I always wanted to be your friend.
I am better person now because I slowly did everything things what I told you before I left Ireland. I got myself a place so in future my parents have their retirement home that I said I would do. I had challenge myself to my certification like how I mentioned it to you. You probably think by now I should have just let go and have forgotten everything about you. That I cannot do. I still think that it was never a waste to have met you. I do regret kissing you. I do regret making love to you. I do regret loving you as a lover.
It took so much of me when you told me "Sorry, I can't do this Goodbye" and never hearing from you was something I had to accept for awhile now. It is time for me to say "Sorry, I can't stop trying one more time to tell you for a peace of my mind and maybe yours before I say goodbye".
I do regret being your lover and wish I remained just friends with you. I wished I never kissed you because I needed your lips to tell me what I did wrong or encourage me things I need to work on. I wish I never whispered in your ears I love you, because I needed you to hear me out on my good and bad days. I wish I never made loved to you because I need more of your hugs when I'm devastated or happy. I wish I never look into your eyes and told you the truth but the truth is I do love you and thank you for your whole being not as your lover but I realise that I loved you for being there for me when I had nothing at all. Shane you gave me back a world of hope, faith, and love. I am not after your heart but I am after you to understand that you were a good friend to me and I thank you. Thank you for everything good and the bad. I will always have that love for you because you were a good friend and even you said goodbye I understand why. I could not get angry nor hate you. I understand everything.
Forgive me if this even comes to you as an insult instead of flattery, believe in me I do not want to cause any harm but to reach out to you an ending that I hope in the future you can look back and say hello to an old friend. I know it's a big thing but this is why I believe in the power of love. I am thankful and I wish you and your new partner a great beginning .
I miss you mon ami. I only have good memories of us and nothing more.
I bid you goodbye if this is something you really want I am on my way. Don't fret my friend you know who I am. You knew how much I can take because I know I can feel it in my heart . You might have walked away not because you you can't be my friend anymore, because in the beginning you know you can't love me as I loved you but the beautiful thing is that Love is unconditional and powerful. It forgives, it heals and it can love again.
"Near , far , wherever you are , I believe that my heart will go on and on ..."
I love you goodbye mon ami,
Jeanne
