To the friend who has never physically left my side or betrayed me, but isn't the person I thought they were.
Through the years I've felt that we've become closer and more open, but it has been the opposite. You've become more closed off and secretive than ever before. I think I know less about the person you truly are now than I did before we were friends. You don't tell me important parts of your life and you leave your struggles out of conversations. I've found that we always seem to be discussing me and my tragedies and triumphs, but never yours. It has gotten to the point that I know more about my acquaintances than I do about you.
I don't think you've done this on purpose. I think it has developed and you've realized how much easier it is over time. You don't have to deal with anyone's approval but your own. That is just fine, that is your decision. What's not fine is what it has done to me. I feel embarrassed and more outside than I have ever felt. When I'm with you I feel as though I am alone in a crowded room of people. I don't think I'll ever understand why my best isn't good enough for you. I've contemplated giving up but something keeps me here.
I think it is the feeling of wanting acceptance. I want you to work and fight for the friendship as much as I do. I don't want you to feel ashamed or disappointed about yourself and if you do I want you to tell me. I want to save you from that guilt and loneliness,but I know that's not logical. I can't help you if you don't want it and I guess that's something I have to live with.
My wish for you is that you'll see someday the support that was always right in front of you. I just hope someday isn't too late
