Dear Donna,

Subject: Dear Donna,
Date: 13 May 2018

Just last weekend, I was sitting in the living room at a family function when a few of my aunts and my mom pranced into the room. They started to friendly ask me questions, how was school, any boyfriend yet, all of those types of questions, you know. Then aunt Mary said, “You’re going to college right sweetie?”

My mom replied before me, “Of course she is.”

Then right after, aunt Karen asked, “So, well whaddya wanna study then?”

And I couldn’t really think of anything. It made me realize well I don’t know. So that’s what I said, “I’m not sure yet.”

“Aww, really?” was vocalized in semi-patronizing voices.

Later that night I started to think a lot about this. So whadda I wanna study then?

Erin wants to start her own little clothing boutique. John’s going off to become a marine. Claire wants to be a veterinarian. Tanya wants to become an astrologist. Daryl says he’s going to become a phlebotomist. I don’t even know what that is, but at least he has something to say when questioned about his future that sounds scientifically promising. Then there’s people like us. But it’s okay! And it’s time to embrace it. We don’t need to pretend like we have our futures planned out, like a couple of them probably are.

Not knowing what you want to do after high school is okay.

It’s time to embrace our not-knowing, and become open-minded intellectuals so we won’t be running around like chickens with their heads cut off when we get out of high school.

I know you’re still not sure if college will even be in your future. And, that’s okay, college isn’t for everyone. Or maybe you just need some more time before you can decide that, and that’s okay, too. At this point in your life there's no point in comparing yourself to others. As they say, “The world is your oyster,” but really, there’s no reason you shouldn’t live it at the pace that works best for you.

We live in a world of endless opportunities and you can choose any of them.

Just think about that for a second.

There are two ways you can look at that statement. The first way to look at this is to be overwhelmed and unsure of what exactly you want for yourself. The second way to look at this is to be excited for the hopefulness of your future. I think I speak for us both when I say we’re currently thinking similarly to the first perspective, but we should and will achieve that second perspective.

Do people in college even know what they want to do after that? Hell no! That’s why they start school “undecided.” If and when you do apply to a university, you can declare your major undecided until you are comfortable making your final major declaration. Even then you can switch your major.

Society loves to make it seem like all adults are supposed to follow the same pattern once they come of age. Go to university, graduate, have a steady career, get married and have children. This isn’t for everyone and thank goodness times are a'changing and that change is going to be within you. There is a tangible and successful future that doesn’t require you to follow society’s expected patterns. Your best future will be chosen by the most fit person to decide that, yourself.

Best Wishes.