There are some things you need to know. These are some things I have wanted to tell you my entire life I have wanted to tell you these, but I have not had the guts to say. First, you are my idol. Secondly, I have always wanted to just stay up at night and talk to you about life. I have always wanted to go on a walk with you and just talk. I have always wanted to get the biggest hug from you. I have wanted to talk to you until we started to cry. I have always wanted to hug you until I cry. Most of the time when I talk to you while I am at school I feel like crying. I might seem like I have my shit together over the phone, but the second we hang up I am absolutely devastated and just start to cry like a little baby. Also, you should know that most of the time during the day I really want to call you or mom, but I don’t because I get too nervous that you won't want to talk to me. So I usually just wait until you call me.
You need to understand that I am not gone, I am still here I am just away for a moment. I will forever be your little girl, no matter where life takes me. It devastates me to think that I can't see you every day when I get home from school, and it brings me to tears because I miss you all so much. But I have another little secret for you, the reason I did not go to College of Charleston was that I would have been too far away and it would've been too painful for me.
You have guided me since day one on earth and even when I am 81.5 miles away you are still guiding me and giving me advice on what to do. You are still there for me.
We have all been through tough times in life, but most of us do not come out a fully changed person. Well, I guess you aren't most people. Honestly, dad what you did for yourself and for us as a family was extremely strong of you, and honestly I never expected that. I have always looked up to you, but now I can look up to you even more. Day after day I aspire to provide my future family with the lifestyle you have provided us all with. You have treated us all so well, given us all the ability to be able to live a very comfortable, and better life. Sending me to the best school for me, and never once (well only one) complaining about it. I can not express how much I appreciate everything you have sacrificed for us all to live a very wonderful life.
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” Those are words that I have lived by since December 20, 2016, when you told them to me. I used to be extremely worried that I would not be accepted by my friends, and I felt like I was the only one who felt like everyone hated them. Well little did I know that you also felt like no one liked you as a kid. To hear you say that took a huge weight off my shoulders because I knew that it was all in my head. Not only did you give me that insecurity, but you also gave me dyslexia, ADHD, my minor anxiety, my minor anger, my short fuse, my work ethic, my independent side, my ballsy side, my outgoing side and most importantly my ability to forgive and forget. You have forgiven me for some crazy things, and I have also forgiven you. Because when I look at how much you have changed my world, I realize it's silly to dwell on past mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, but one thing that was not a mistake was me being your child, because I really needed you and not to sound too cocky but I believe that you needed me just as much. Thank you for being the most amazing father anyone has ever had, but please hesitate to reach out dad! Let's go for that walk sometime!
Your Eldest Daughter