My name is Tahkyia and this is an open letter to Conrad Murray, AEG, Sony and anyone who stood by and watched as Michael Jackson struggled and lost his life. Let me first start by telling you a little bit about me, seeing as how many Michael Jackson fans/supporters get categorized as being obsessed crazy people with no lives.
I am 36 years old and mother to an eight month old son. I have my Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice. My employment background consist of more than ten years working with children, including those incarcerated in detention centers, as well as working with incarcerated adults.
My hobbies include music production and videography. I enjoy CNN talk radio and I am a proud Democrat. I have been a fan of Michael Jackson since the age of 4 and a supporter of him since 1993. Michael held a special place in my heart for as long as I can remember and on June 25, 2009 at roughly 3pm or so I learned that Michael had died. According to what I was told, he suffered cardiac arrest and could not be saved.
My world came crashing down. Immediately the world felt cold and empty. How could this have happened? Wasn’t he about to tour? A tour that I couldn’t afford to attend…but that I was so happy was happening. Michael was back. He was about to show the world how great he was again…and in moments that was all gone. Gone.
Any chance I had of ever seeing him perform live…any chance I ever had of meeting him and telling him how much he influenced me…how much I loved the person that he was…gone. I asked why and how over and over again. It wasn’t long before I began to get answers.
As the days passed I learned about you Conrad. The doctor that was entrusted to maintain Michael’s health for the duration of the This Is It shows. I asked myself how could there have been a doctor present and yet Michael died? What was happening? And then after weeks of waiting…we learned that the death was ruled a homicide. A homicide.
Death of one person by the hands of another. And instantly I knew that you….along with AEG, Sony, and whatever other greedy people were all behind this.
I personally was unaware of Michael’s financial state during this time. It wasn’t until years after his passing that I learned just how bad it was. One thing I did know was that he may have been facing financial despair, but he had that catalog.
For years Sony wanted to get their hands on it, but he never gave in. So what did AEG do? It was almost like black mail. Knowing he was barely able to keep a roof over him and his children’s heads, he was approached with a deal of a life time.
They dangled in front of him salvation in the form of giving him the basic needs for him and his children including a house to live in and food to eat. They signed him up to perform 10 shows that turned into 50 shows to begin with-in months. So here we have Michael Jackson.
Probably considered by most to be the greatest entertainer of our generation battled, broken, and at the mercy of AEG. The pressure was surely unimaginable. We all know Michael had an issue with prescription drugs. This is no secret. Thanks to the Pepsi mishap, Michael was scarred for life in more ways than one. Striving for constant physical perfection to far remove himself from what he viewed as his own imperfections did nothing but enhance this prescription problem.
I remember hearing Demerol for the first time at 17 years old. And I thought “what is Demerol?” I remember thinking that it had to be a drug, but I didn’t’ understand why he was singing about it and why the background sounded like a hospital room. But today….Today I fully understand the song. It was you people. All of you. Each one of you that ever gave him a pill you shouldn’t have given him. For each of you that ever injected a needle in his arm, leg, or any other part of his body. You enablers. You yes men. You cowards. You greedy men and women. But let me get back to you Conrad. I know that you got my letter in jail because it didn’t get sent back to me. It was a short letter just to let you know a little bit of how I was feeling at the time. Now that you are freely walking the streets and trolling the internet, I figured I would continue where I left off. Firstly you should be thankful for the California Corrections system’s overcrowding and under sentencing for your crime. Yes. Your CRIME! You were convicted of involuntary manslaughter, but was it involuntary? Was it manslaughter?
No. It was murder. Now I tip my hat to prosecutors Michael Walgren and Deborah Brazil. They charged what they knew they could prove in court. That’s what a good prosecutor does. And they got their verdict. But what you can prove and what you know are two different things Conrad. Murderer. You willingly stock piled enormous amounts of drugs in the months before killing Michael. You were not an anesthesiologist and you had no clue what the drugs you were giving him…the cocktail of drugs you were giving him…what they could do individually or combined. You knew you didn’t know this. You created a make shift medical space with an improper use of saline bags to hold your Propofol drip. Now they couldn’t prove it in court because the bottle was removed from the bag for photographs. But there was that milky white substance in the saline bag.
This isn’t rocket science. Do you think we are all stupid? Idiots maybe? You claim that Michael was awake all night up until roughly 10:50 am when you injected just a small 25mg dose of Propofol. You then said you sat there for some time until you were comfortable with his sleep state.
You made it seem like you sat there for quite a while, but according to you that amount of Propofol should only last for 10 minutes. And if as you claim Michael was in the habit of jumping up and grabbing for the IV, why wouldn’t excuse yourself to….”use the restroom” in those first few minutes of sedation. But that is neither here nor there because we know you’re lying Conrad. You are expecting the world to believe that Michael was wearing a condom catheter all night while awake and filling up containers with urine? How do you explain the bed being soaked in urine? If you only stepped out of the room for two minutes to use the rest room….well then how was it that Michael was in a bed full of urine…cold..blue…and dead? I don’t need to sit here and list the numerous phone calls/text/and emails that were going on between 11am and 11:51am. That is all public record. So you are asking us to believe you sat at Michael’s bedside after using the restroom for two minutes and then you came back and sat with him while you conducted all this phone activity?
All while Michael was covered in urine, still knocked out from a 25mg dose of Propofol, mouth and eyes open and cool to the touch? Well that’s what you implied correct? That’s not murder? Voluntary manslaughter at least. Your actions to follow were just as gross as those that led up to this tragic event.
And all the while Conrad only cared about Conrad. Conrad Murray. The heart doctor that didn’t know CPR or how to properly administer it, but was more than willing to shoot someone up with drugs they had no knowledge of for $150,000 a month. Conrad. Conrad you are insane. You are a disgusting insane individual. This letter would turn into a book if I continued to list the things you did. You served two years in the county jail for taking the life of a man that needed help. He needed real care. A man that was loved by so many, most importantly his children. Conrad do you know that his children have to live with those disgusting images that you created? They will close their eyes and remember their father’s lifeless body…staring at the ceiling with is penis exposed in such a dehumanizing way. We as fans will never forget Michael’s lifeless body being flashed on the tv screen…first on the gurney and then on the morgue table. Those are images I have to endure for the rest of my life because of you…and because of all you other disgusting individuals. Randy Phillips. Paul Gongaware. You disgusting pigs. How dare you focus on making money immediately following his death?
How dare you give us This Is It (the film) and attempt to depict Michael as being ready for those shows. We could see how frail he was. We could see he didn’t move the same. What we couldn’t see is what you all saw! The hot and cold flashes. The constant trips to Arnie Klien’s office. And you stood by and let this happen. You know you thought he was worth more dead than alive and how that proved to be true. The amount of money that you have made….Sony….has got their grimey hands on the ATV shares. And all that’s left of Michael are warehouses full of his cherished things. Which I am sure one day soon will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Michael was the elephant man. He was your side show freak except it wasn’t cheap whisky that you poured into his mouth. It was your prescription drugs you shot into his veins…and like the elephant man he died alone…in his bed.
Do you know what Conrad? Michael is alive. In our hearts. Our minds. His spirt lives on through all who loved him. His music made him immortal. His influence will continue on forever. My son Jackson is part of that continuance…..but you….you will die. And the only thing people will know is that there was a sick doctor that killed The King of Pop. They won’t remember your name. They won’t know about the boy that made it to America from Grenada with the hopes of saving lives. No. Somewhere along the way you became lost. And at that moment your life was meaningless. You are worthless. Whatever accomplishments you may have made in your life are now overshadowed by this terrible murder. This mishandling of your medical duty. You can write as many books as you want. Give as many interviews at you want. You can sing songs about being a lost boy that Santa forgot all you want. Conrad…you are nothing. A nobody. Your book won’t sell one copy. You are ostracized by society. We don’t care where you go or what you do. Nothing you ever say will be believed. You are nothing.
To AEG…we see you. We see Wade Robeson. We know why. You money hungry people. You disgusting individuals. May karma find you always.
To the Michael Jackson estate. I don’t’ agree with all your choices. Especially the sale of ATV. John Branca, I don’t know why Michael fired you. Maybe it was because BAD didn’t’ hit the numbers he was hoping for, but I can’t say for certain. What I remember about you is that when I was 15 years old I wrote you a letter and asked you to help me meet Michael. You sent a letter back signed and said you couldn’t help me with that but that you got Michael to sign a photo for me. I have that picture to this day. And so I know that you must be a good man to have answered a 15 year old fan. I can’t imagine your responsibility right now, but please do right by Michael’s children. I hope that maybe you will open a museum with the contents of the warehouse so that we may enjoy Michael’s world.
Sony….you are disgusting.
To Prince, Paris, and Blanket. Please know that I care for you all very much and hope to meet you all one day. I watched you grow and I am proud of you all. I know you have your struggles and I don’t judge you. May life treat you kind and may people show you respect and kindness that they never showed your father.
Sincerely a fan and supporter