Bachelor parties. A word that sends a pang of pain into the heart for many fiances and wives alike. For future brides, it's the fear of what happens. For wives, its pain from knowing what happened, or living with unanswered questions.
For me, his bachelor party was the worst night of my life. He was supposed to come see me after work. And for hours I sat calling waiting, wondering if he was okay. Was he in a wreck? Did something happen to him?
No. His "friends" had come to his work to take him out for the night.
He would cheat on me that night. Encouraged by his "friends" and even father. I'm not blaming them, but my husband has always been a push over. Peer pressure could make him walk off a bridge. And with his entire family encouraging it, he did it.
We had talked about what we were uncomfortable with for eachother's parties. I followed every single request. I had friends over for a sleep over and we played cards and watched movies.
He literally did everything on the list of things I asked him not to do. Things he promised not to do. And then he looked me in the eyes the next morning and lied. Telling me he didn't do anything. I knew he was lying. But he wouldn't come clean for over a year.
You might think "this is my last time of freedom". Do you know how that makes her feel? When you say things like that, you make it sound like marrying her is a prison. Like it's something you're being forced into.
She will live with that forever. The reason my husband didn't tell me will forever be ingrained in my head. "I knew even before I did it, that you would leave me if you knew." He was willing to risk our life together to seem manly to his friends.
So grooms, please. If your future bride tells you something would upset her if it happened at your party, please listen to her. Please respect her enough. Please think about your long term marriage as opposed to one night.
She will have to live with that pain forever.
