Dearest Self,
I’m so sorry if I am controlling you.
I’m so sorry if I control your happiness. I’m just afraid this is just for a while because you’re still not over with you past.
I’m so sorry if I forbid you to be too sweet, thoughtful and caring. I just don’t want him to hope for something you can’t take responsibility.
I’m so sorry if I don’t want you to ask and get to know him more. I know how fragile you are and you might develop something that your system can’t handle.
I’m so sorry if I can’t let you get mad. As you know, you have no right.
I’m so sorry if you cannot demand. It would be too bad of you to abuse his feelings.
I’m so sorry if I want you to hide your thoughts and emotions. I just believe, things need to be left unspoken to make it in control.
And, I’m so sorry for having too much requirements. For making it hard on you to let people enter your life.
Self, I’m really sorry for being too harsh on you. But, you’re such a hard-headed one. No matter how much I discipline you, the stronger your will to do what you want. Just please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt again for it will really destroy you. However, as much as I want to protect you, I don’t want you neither to hurt other people who just want to love you.
Please keep on praying. If you’re not really ready to give your heart, let God hold and guard it. I can’t always control nor stop you but with His guidance, I know you are in good hands.
Loving you,
Yourself
