When I first meet you, I never thought you would end up meaning so much to me, we were best friends, we told each other everything, we spoke about our hopes our dreams, what we wanted to do when we left school, we had a perfect friendship. You had a girlfriend, she was beautiful, one of my closest friends and you had been with her for what felt like forever, I respected your relationship as you respected my “relationship”, you know the one, you were there when it ended you comforted me, you were there for me as a friend, a shoulder to cry on and when I finally got over that everything changed. We started to become closer, we started spending more time together, I started to develop feelings for you, and this is where you should have stepped in, where you should have drawn the line, but you didn’t. Instead when I told you how I felt and that I needed space because I didn’t want to ruin your relationship or our friendship, you told me that it was ‘cute’, you then continued to remind me day after day that I had feelings for you, that's all you would ever talk about, you told your mates you were going to break up with your girlfriend to be with me and I was stupid enough to believe it. I waited and waited and waited but day after day you would continue to spend more time with her. And I understand that and respect that I was never angry about that about your relationship with her, I loved you guys together and you knew that. I was angry at how you treated me, about how you handled the situation, and eventually, it became too much.
I stopped talking to you I needed space, I was becoming something I never wanted to be, the other women, and that went against everything I stood for, it was hard but I had to move on. And then came New Years Eve, we hadn’t spoken for almost 5 weeks, I was happy I felt strong, but then you called and you told me you were in love with me and you had been in love with for quite some time and without saying a word I hung up, because, in all honesty, this wasn’t a surprise. I had known this all along and when you finally decided to be a man, to tell your girlfriend the truth and admit your true feelings for me, it was too late, I had moved on. Almost 3 years later and I still find myself thinking about you and what we could have been. It's funny how life works because your ‘Mates’ are now my best friends, just like you used to be, they have been there for me through thick and thin for the best two years, they know what went on between us, but unlike you, they have to decency to never bring it up. I look back now and see a naive 16-year-old who just wanted to have her fairy tail high school relationship she was in over her head but she’s grown up now. I guess I just wanted to thank you because without you I wouldn’t be the strong independent person I am today. Thank you for breaking my heart and making me realise that I don’t need anyone telling me how to live and how to feel, thank you for making me see your true colours. Thank you for making me who I am today.
