Thank you so, so, so, so much. Thank you for everything.
I always wondered how long it would take for my heart to stop hurting. I even accepted the fact that it may never. I even pictured myself marrying another man, yet still guarding a sliver of my heart just in case you ever came back for me.
And then one day I woke the hell up. I decided I wasn't going to hurt anymore. I cut you off and never looked back. What a liberating moment that was.
I started living. I stopped stalking your social media pages. I started looking in the eyes of other guys who smiled at me. I stopped making excuses for you and the ways you hurt me. I converted my sadness into motivation and started kicking ass at the things that make me happy.
I used to think you were what I needed in order to be happy. I used to think that those brief moments of bliss were worth the times you made me cry on my bedroom floor until 3am. I would wonder how in the world I ever was going to get up. You were never worthy of that, and you will never be worthy of that.
I am so thankful I finally started to see you for what you really are. You are not a hurricane, you are not a drug, you are not a dark prince, you are not Chuck Bass, and you are not my soulmate. You are just a boy who treated me like I was a doll. You played me. You left me lying on the ground for weeks, months, even years.
I am thankful for feeling the way I did because I learned about self-respect. And I knew I succeeded in reaching it when I stopped begging you to love me properly. There is nothing romantic about fighting a war for someone who never even laced their boots.
I don't hate you. I simply wish you a life full of whatever you deserve. I gave you my best and you gave me nothing near what I deserved. I am not filled with hate because hate is just another way of holding on, and you don't belong here anymore.
I am thankful I realized I needed to move forward. I could not force you to be a character in my story any longer. I could not allow myself further suffering. The page was turned. The chapter was ended.
I am thankful I realized that love is unconditional. Love is simple. Love is pure. Love is infinite. Love is not worrying. Love is not pain. Love is not hot and cold. Love is not lying. Love is not games. Love is not what we had. We were fire and ice desperately trying to coexist. You will always burn me, and this time, the last time, I was strong enough to put you out.
I am so thankful you showed me exactly what kind of man I do not want. I do not want the man who constantly makes me question myself, when the problem was him all along. I do not want the man who leaves scars on my heart.
I am thankful you didn't chose me, because I needed to chose me.
