What I would give anything to have known.
(July 15th, 2013)
Dear little girl,
You worth is not defined by how much this boy likes you. He is irrelevant. Before you start this, think about all the wonderful things you have going for you. I know he is older, sexy and mysterious. But you are young, innocent and naive. Please, stay this way.
Sweetie, starting this with him is going to ruin your life. He is still destroying you to this day. It is November 24th, 2016. It is Thanksgiving Day, three years later. He is still running through your head. He is still controlling your heart. You are his puppet.
I am begging you. He isn't worth it. The happy days to come are not worth the days that will make you feel lower than you ever have. He is going to leave you during the worst thing that has ever happened to you. He is going to leave you when you are trapped in your personal Hell.
I wish I didn't have to explain what that means. You'll see; unfortunately way too soon. I apologize, sweetheart. I am so sorry. I am so sorry for what is going to happen to you. It doesn't have anything to do with him, but I am still so, so sorry.
I am sorry for not having a reasonable explanation. I wish I could say the pain will stop. I wish I could say I feel normal. I wish I could say it isn't going to hurt. I wish I could say he will be supportive and loving during the whole process. I wish I could say he will be there for you.
He will leave. He will leave you crushed into a million pieces. He will leave you without a goodbye. He will leave you in a path of mass destruction. He will leave you without so much as a kiss on the forehead.
He left me for what seems to be the 80th time about 5 days ago. It doesn't get any easier. Over these next three years he is going to pop in and out of your life, destroying you with every smirk, every laugh and every hug. He will slowly kill you.
I sit here broken and defeated. I sit here confused. I sit here in genuine disgust that I could love him more than all of the stars in the sky, yet not love myself enough to walk away. I am still struggling to let go of the boy you are planning to start talking to.
So I beg you, young girl, turn your back and run. Run as far away as you can. Run to your family, because they love you more than you will ever know.
