Amidst all the inspiring thoughts about women empowerment, equality and independence of women I almost forgot to look at another perspective of it. Not only me but many of us obliterate to do that. I think that it is not men or the society who are responsible for non-equality of women but women themselves are fettered for that. The reason for this spasmodic thought is a conversation that I recently had with my friends. All of us are settled down and we have our jobs and now looking forward to get married.
While parleying with one another our discussion dragged towards marriage and this is when the actual huddling started. Everyone was piping down their thoughts about ideal marriage and all that stuff. To the surprise of all of us, one of our friends Shivani said that she wants to marry someone who has power, status, money and who can fulfil all her wishes. She also added that love is the last thing that she wanted and compatibility, understanding, faith, trust all these are secondary. She being the most talented girl of our group has the best job and knowing her standpoint really distressed me. After knowing the outlook of Shivani one of our friends Sunidhi raised the question that I also wanted to ask “Why do you want a man to do all that for you whereas you are competent enough to do all that for yourself?” The answer was astonishing she said that “I am really fed up of working hard and I do not want to waste my entire life like this. We girls are really lucky that we have an option to upgrade ourselves by marrying someone who has potential to fulfil our desires. This is how I will use my man to get whatever I want in Life. This is why money is the only thing that I will be looking for while making my marriage decision.” I then put through the wringer on Shivani only to know if she has been studying and living far from home and parents so that at the end she could find a man with money.
I couldn’t get over this conversation for next few days and this bothered me a lot. The reason is not that she wants power, status and money but the reason is her awful thinking. How easy is this for women to shrug off responsibilities and put her burden over a man? No I am not saying that women are not doing well as a homemaker, that is the biggest responsibility over her and most of them are fulfilling it with utmost care. The point here is that Women want luxuries but even after being competent they do not want to work. They have an ability to stand equally with men and get whatever they want but they are unwilling to do that. Even after that why are we talking about independence and all that stuff? We women scream the hell out that we are equal, we are independent but practically many of us are just boasting around. In real sense we are still far distant than what we claim we are. I never heard a man saying that he is satiated of hardworking and because of that he wants to marry a woman who can earn well and fulfil his desires. The allegory does not end here, to hide our unwillingness to become equal and independent we often denunciate the society and societal norms for this, we also rebuke men for that. But the undeniable truth is that we women are censurable for this faux pas.
# Names are changed for privacy
