On this day, ten years ago, our virtual acquaintance ended. At that time, I could never have imagined that in the future I would remember this recurrence with such a relief. Finally, you gave up, i hope. You understood that I wouldn't go back on my steps. It might not be nice to say it openly, but now I no longer have any desire to get to know you or to be your friend. I'm not interested in you anymore. Simple as that. And I know perfectly well that, deep down, you're not interested in having me in your life either, that seems pretty obvious to me. I'll explain this last statement in more details later. You should know that I'm not obbligated to owe you any justification for this choice, even though in other open letters I think that I explained some of the main reasons to you anyway (do you remember the name issue?). You realize that if you had told me your name, all this would simply never have happened? Then, surprisingly, you started writing to me right after you got married. At first, I couldn't understand why you had started sending me some e-mails. I believe, I was unable to understand the reason, because in reality I did not pay much attention to that fact. It was sufficient to think seriously about it for a couple of hours, to clearly understand your real intentions.
I remember that the first time you wrote to me at my e-mail address was exactly the day before your birthday. About a week after your wedding. Strangely, it was the only time you signed with your full name (just the initials, of course). You wrote to me in September, but I had already decided to cut all contacts nine months earlier, in January. But did you really think I should have wished you a happy birthday? Weren't you the one who never wanted to accept even a measly "gift" of birthday wishes on Odno?! "This gift was rejected!" had become constant words for me to read. So at some point, I simply gave up. After all, having discovered your name, that's what I should have done from the beginning. It took me a while, I admit. But I'm happy with the result. You might not like the idea of it, but I don't miss you, I don't look for you, and I don't want anything to do with you anymore. It's true that unfortunately the memory will never completely fade away, but when that period of my life comes back to my mind, (which for me was less beautiful than you can imagine), I simply try not to think about it. And then, above all, what should I remember fondly about you?
So, just for fun, I'll give you a quick summary of the highlights of your answers to my questions the first time we were alone into the chat room and I turned on the webcam:
What's your name? [you told me a specific name] (but it wasn't true)
Are you married? ...Yes (but it wasn't true)
Do you have children? ...Yes, 2 (but it wasn't true)
I remember you showed me a photo where you were holding some children, but they weren't yours, they were your "sister-in-law's", that is, the older sister of the one who would later become your husband (right?)
Where are you from? [you told me a specific country] (but it wasn't true)
Do you have an email address?
Shall we exchange emails?
...I don't have any email addresses (but it wasn't true)
As if that wasn't enough, the first thing you asked me instead, was something very close to: 'Why don't you look for someone else?' I don't know if you've ever seen the movie "The Matrix Revolutions", but in that film, a character named 'The Merovingian' says a phrase that should be engraved on all psychology manuals: "... It's incredible how the behavioral model of love resembles that of dementia...". Well, yes, in those moments I must have been in the grip of acute dementia because after those answers I should have simply sent you to hell straight away.
The good news is that I'm healed now. (not from now, but at least 5 years). The only thing left to clarify is why I believe you've been trying to kidding me in recent years. (P.S. I never intended to kidding you, even though you might have thought so). Let's get to the heart of the matter. If your claims (the ones you make in the open letters that I believe are from you) were true, you would try your best to contact me directly again. For example, you could tell me: "let's talk at this address that I created specifically: [yournickname]-[mynickname]@gmail.com" or you could invite me to a chat room or something similar. But you don't. You wait (AND WANT) for me, to contact you on your social media channels. So, since you never let me clearly understand that you are the author of those letters, you could reply that you never wrote anything to me and that I imagined it all.
Basically, you want me to 'self-convince' myself that deep down I haven't forgotten you and that I want to resume contact with you at all costs. That I'm an obsessed stalker and blah blah blah. I think it's the right moment to ruin your plans: this game doesn't work and it's lasted too long for my likings: I'll never show up in front of you on the street and I'll never show up at your door, I'll never write you another message on your social profiles, I'll never send you a whatsapp message (uhm yes, I'd also found out your phone number, only I never wanted to save it in my contacts). Forget it. This 'never started story' must ends here and in this way. Now you're really married. Now you're really a wife. Now you're really a mother. You have much more to think about. Also in your free time. It's pointless to waste time on a kind of revenge that you'll never be able to achieve. And besides, revenge for what? Because I managed to turn the page? Because you realized you no longer have any effect on me? Or for that thing I said to your mother? You don't deserve to know, but after 10 years I can even afford to take a couple of weights off your shoulders: what I said to her, I DIDN'T said it to anyone else is in your life.
Apart from the fact that I told your mother to not get angry with you, but above all she replied by saying 'May God bless you!', I could have hurt you a lot from this point of view and you know it very well: a mother's love, on the other hand, is immense and I knew from the beginning that I would never be able to crack or destroy your relationship. Not bad for an obsessed and crazy asshole stalker, right?! You can believe me or not, I don't care. It's only and exclusively your problem. Regarding the 2018 letter, you can relax: the external danger no longer exists. Now the probability that I described to you is 0%: The "Bad Ones" have won (for the moment). Moreover, I hope and hope that you are aware that 2018' message wasn't an attempt to threaten you: if I had really wanted to hurt you, I would have simply done it years ago. But you are very good at wanting to misunderstand everything to support the ideas or theories you have about me. You still haven't understood, or don't want to admit, that I'm not that kind of person. Once again, however, it's your problem. Not mine. I don't care anymore to convince you about anything. So, to avoid being disappointed, give up any plan you have in your mind. It simply can never work on me. What exists between us, for me can be called aloofness. For you, probably, it's called karma.
