Thank you.
I am going to describe someone. Simple words, but I want you to imagine this person in your head. Imagine:
A boy.
You’re best friend,
Someone who you love,
Someone that you trusted.
Every girl has this one boy. You can love them with all of your heart, but you know that you cannot be with him. You can’t be with him not only because he’s your best friend, yet because you are also toxic. You guys fight more than you love each other, but he consistently tells you that he loves you. Imagine, giving him the one thing that you can never give back. Your heart and body. You loved him with all of your heart, and he used you. Let me guess, you have someone in your mind. If you do this letter is for you.
I can honestly say that I never thought I would be writing a letter to someone who made me feel worthless and used, not only by the use of my body, but with my heart, and feelings. My friend once told me, “He is using you, and he really doesn’t love you.” In all honesty, they were right, but it takes a mistake to realize that you never want to do that ever again. With this being said there is always that off chance that it takes multiple mistakes for you to understand whom you are, what you believe in, and most importantly where you stand.
When you are a nineteen-year-old girl in college, you often think about the concept to fuckboys. We see them wherever we go, and they are not always people that you would suspect. When you think about it, most girls get roped into being a dirty little secret and the other girl. When you are the dirty little secret and the other girl, it often takes you multiple times and multiple mistakes to understand that it truly is a mistake. Boys, who are fuckboys, often confuse us and have us fooled. So congratulations. But once your mistakes finally hit us, we are able to understand you do not care. You don’t care about our feelings, our goals, or even most importantly our interests. With this being said, you cared about one thing. You cared about using us for the time being. You cared about using us for the time being, making it worth your wild. So thank you. Yes I said it, thank you for a lot of different things, but most importantly thank you for using me.
Thank you for making me realize that I am not insignificant, but my morals are way better than you believe they are.
I can honestly say that I will never have sex with you ever again, or even have feelings for you. You say that you care about me, but you didn’t. Every time that you texted me early in the morning, it was to try and get in my pants. Thank you for making me realize that if you didn’t care about what I have to say at 1pm you sure didn’t care at 1 am.
Even though I may be the second girl, and your dirty little secret, my morals are still strong. I will be telling girl. I will tell her how easy it is to go from one to another. Just remember you are going to be the one that’s hiding the secret. Mine at least knows.
Thank you for making me more secure.
Because of you, I know what I want in life. I have finally been able to realize that there is only one person in this world that I can trust. I only can trust myself. I love myself, I am steady and careful to fall in love. I am secure in my feelings, and I now know that I am the only person that can control the situation.
Thank you for showing me the type of person I don’t want to be or be with.
You do not respect me, you are immature, and most importantly you are an Ass. You think that you can love two people at once, and you don’t. We might be toxic for each other, but at least I respected you. I gave you the attention, the time, and most importantly my ears. I understood what you were going through. But this is how your life going to be. You are going to be sitting alone one day, all of the friends that you have are going to be just like you. They are not going to respect you, they are going to be immature, but most importantly you and them will have no one. While you are miserable with like, I am going to be successful, happy, and in love with someone who truly appreciates me. I at least have goals in life.
Thank you for still trying to contact me.
I think that it’s funny, you can sit there and lie to your friends. You have no idea that satisfaction that it brings me to know that I can simply ignore your phone call, or delete your text. You were in control the whole time we were together, but in all honesty I have the power now. I never realized that something so simple could make me so happy. I bet you didn’t think that I would be able to stay away. But I learned one simple thing, until you are able to show respect and to stop thinking with the wrong head, I do not want you in my life. You are not worth it.
So thank you. Thank you for using my heart, emotions, and body, and making me feel worthless. I may have gone back to you multiple times, but in all honestly you were just a silly mistake. I finally learned who I am, what I believe in, and most importantly where I stand. I am a young, independent woman, who believes in her self, and most importantly I do not need any man to tell me I am good enough. I am good enough. You say that we were toxic for each other, and that may be true. You were some good for me. You just didn’t know how.
