A few months back I parked in this same spot as we discussed your mistake. With tears in your eyes you told me you'd never hurt me like that again. You promised me. You never broke that promise. Instead I hurt you, in a different way. Who would've thought months later I'd be sitting here wondering if there will ever be an "us" again. Everyone is worried about me, and I can see it. My dad begged me not to hurt myself, and not to take anything. The truth is, I haven't even thought about it. The last time I took a tool to my skin you knew without even seeing. You could sense it. I promised you I wouldn't do it again. I won't break that. And I refuse to let myself stoop to the low of needing medicine that's not mine to take away the hurt. Maybe this is my karma for hurting you. I think I'm meant to feel this hurt. Maybe this is a lesson to my anger and my actions. Because that's what got us here. What I'd do to be in your arms right now instead of this cold bench. We walked ruby on this path. Just us three. Things were perfect. It was how they were supposed to be. Then we went to my house where my mom made us dinner. The normalcy is what I miss. Everyday things would fall into place. We fit into each other's life so perfectly yet now there's pieces to the puzzle missing. I hope one day we can find them. In this world you come across a lot of people. Some pass you by and others stick with you. The ones that stick either leave footprints as you move forward together, or they leave imprints as they leave you. I'd like to think that the universe had this planned. I've always felt in my heart I was meant to meet you and we were meant to be in each other's lives. So maybe the universe gave you to me temporarily to teach me a lesson. Maybe you were placed in my life to save me, and that you did. After over a year of feeling stuck in a toxic cycle, you were the one who helped me break it. And you didn't even try, you were just you. So maybe now our time is up. Now we are supposed to move on without each other. But why? Why would the universe give me something so perfect, so pure, and so genuine, and set a time limit. So maybe this wasn't supposed to be temporary. Maybe this was my forever, and I ruined it. Everything is filled with maybes and possiblies and I don't know's. The truth is, we're both so scared of being hurt again that we're not really trying. Two years ago I had "vreme ce pokazuti" tattooed on me. "Time will tell." I never had an absolute reason for it, I just felt that it fit into my life. Two years later, and all my faith is in time, because time will tell. Time will tell us if the universe wanted us to be together forever, or if this was just a lesson. One thing that is unquestionable, one thing that is not a maybe or a possibly or an I don't know is this: The love I feel for you is true. It is unconditional and it will not fade away as we do from each other. So now we put all of our hopes and dreams and plans and fear in the hands of time, and we wait and see how it takes it's course. If we end up together, I will be forever grateful. If time tells us that we are not meant for each other, I will still be forever grateful. Because of you I have felt genuine love, genuine happiness, and I have felt the heart of a genuine person. You are someone I will never forget. You will always be my forever, we just may not be together. And one day, it will be alright.
