I hate you….but through that hate I want to thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being so lost in your own world and spiteful that you didn’t see what you had. Because of you I now know what it is to truly love someone and have someone love me with everything they have in them. Yes, it has been a hard battle trying to fix the pieces you broke. Listening when he is upset. Reassuring him not everyone is like you. Every day it gets better. You don’t see the changes that everyone else sees. How much happier everyone is without you around. How you aren’t even mentioned. I feel bad for you. You are a pathetic, selfish and immature person. The only good thing that came from you are the children.
You make yourself out to be a victim to the world. A mother who has been alienated from her children. When you go to bed can you sleep well knowing you did everything you could for them? Making sacrifices? Putting their needs above your own? If I were you I couldn’t. As you spend yet another day arguing and making threats, I am here loving your children. Making them dinner. Tucking them into bed. As you are fighting for more time with them, have you utilized the time you are able to see them? Did you show up EVERY weekend that you were allowed? You claim you have no money to visit yet you have your hair done, your nails done, new clothes, shoes and go on vacations. You are upset you won’t see them for weeks at a time but you don’t show up on your scheduled visits. You have weeks to plan. Time to save money. When time comes to visit you say “I’ll come tomorrow” and tomorrow never comes. You may have given birth to them but you haven’t proven that you could be a mom. A mom gives. She gives when she feels like she can’t give anymore. She doesn’t make excuses as to why she can’t see her children. She provides. They may not be my blood but I will always make sure they have what they need and they will be treated no differently than my biological children. When they needed new clothes I went and bought them. Why? Because they are important. Children shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences of an irresponsible parent. They have grown so much emotionally. They smile more. They are happy. They know they are safe and loved.
Stop using children as pawns in your game. YOU are not a victim. You are a perpetrator. The sooner you realize that the faster you can better yourself. Stop going back on your word over and over. Stop fighting in front of them. Stop whispering in their ears. Stop making pick-up and drop offs difficult. YOU are hurting them. YOU ALONE. Stop blaming everyone else for your actions. Take the opportunities you have been given to change yourself for them. Stop acting like a child and grow to help raise them. Stop creating drama where it isn’t needed. Stop texting all hours of the night. Build a relationship. Build trust. It is probably too late for you but in life I try to see the good and hope that one day something will click, you will see what you have done and that you can somehow repair it. Take what you have and make the most of it. Take the time you are allowed and prove yourself. Prove that you deserve more because right now you have been given more than you deserve.
Sincerely,
The person you think isn’t good enough
