Dear Dad,
I remember when I was just six or seven years old and you came home early from work and started to pack bags and I asked you “daddy why are you packing bags are we leaving” and you said “no baby i’m just going away for a while” I was hurt, it felt like god let his anger out on me.....for no reason. I felt like I was going to run into an asthma attack…… like someone was pushing hard on my chest, or like I was getting kicked in my stomach over and over and over and over again. As tears started to roll down my face I stared at you in your big brown eyes for the last time and gave you a big hug goodbye.
I thought that i’d never see you again until…….
A few years later when I was about nine, I was at grandma's house for my cousin tykeaiahs birthday party. I was in the house eating and that's when grandma said “Nuna,Gracie,Leneir come out here”. I was scared I didn't know what she wanted I know I didn't do anything bad. As we all walked outside I looked up and I seen you, I was so happy I screamed,jumped,laughed and I even cried because I was so happy to see that monkey face of yours again.”Daddy we miss you” the three of us said as you looked at us with tears rolling down your face, “I miss my little monkeys too”. “ Oh kids this is my friend Ms.Shelli-----”
“ hi Ms.Shelli” the three of us said as we all reached to give her a hug.
As we started to cry you told us that you had to leave to take Ms.Shelli to the airport, we were devastated. I didn't know when I would see you again. That was hard to see you and then let go of you again for the second time I didn't want it to happen but it did. I felt like I had lost my prised position. I hugged my sister Gracie as she was drowning in her very own tears and that's when I told her “everything will be ok”. We all went back to the party hurt broken.
There was a time when everything was amazing, fantastic, it was like everything was just right between us daddy. When I was a little girl everything was unbelievably crazy, I loved being around you everything was great we were sooooooooooo close. I remember when you use to lay on my lap and we would watch movies and I would rub your bald shiny head as Gracie and I watched tv and you fell asleep on us.
I remember when I was your little princess daddy, but where did that go? why am I not your little princess anymore? I feel like i've been hit by a truck, or like lightening hit me, daddy why do I feel this pain? why am I not your little princess anymore?
I remember when you use to come home from a long day of work and would lay down on the couch and take a nap or when you use to tell use not to bother you as soon as you came home. There was a moment when I couldn't count on anyone but you.
Daddy I wish I could have everything back I miss it and always have. I miss being your princess and your little girl. I miss when you use to attempt to do my hair before school or even you just taking Gracie and I to school I miss it all.
