Despite having never met you, I know a lot about you. More than I care to know, honestly. My husband has known you for many years now and I'm just now realizing what has happened.
He fell in love with you when I allowed you to come into his life because of my stupid decisions. We have separated many times and every time he has went to you. Every time he tells you how beautiful you are, how perfect you are. The scary thing is, he's right. You have everything in the world going for you. You ARE gorgeous and genuinely nice. You would be the best thing in the world for him. But the jealous wife in me would never want that to happen of course.
This time when we reconciled things felt so different. He still looks for you on his Facebook. He watches your MMA fights online. Sometimes he says your name in his sleep. It kills me. It absolutely breaks my heart. I know the best thing to do would be to let you have him but I don't know if I'm that strong.
I am envious of you. I will never be anything close to what you are. I don't want him to leave but I don't know if I can stay in a marriage knowing he is unhappy and dreaming about you.
Some days I just want you to disappear. I want my husband back. I want him to tell me all the things he tells you. Some days I wish you would have a flaw, SOMETHING that would make him miss his wife. I miss the old us, but that's all gone since you came around.
I hope one day I have the courage to leave and let you two be happy, but today is not the day.
