Let me start out by saying. I know WE put each other through hell and back. I'm just as guilty as you. If not more. I'm even more sorry for not realizing what I was doing until it was too late. I had someone who loved me for who I was and nothing less. And I threw it all away. And for what? To have my heart ripped out by someone else. And when I finally realized what I had done. When it finally sank in. It was too late. You moved on and told me we'd never work. And I should have known this day would come. When you finally got the balls to tell me things were completely done. I just didn't prepare myself well.
And now I feel like I'm drowning once again. I was only ever upset about a guy this bad one other time in my life. And that just proves how much I loved you. I really truly did. And a part of me always will. And I know it's hard to believe after all I put you through, but I always came back because I couldn't be away from you. And when you sent me that text "goodbye Mackenzie. We will never work. Sorry." It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't believe all ties were now cut. It's tearing me up inside. To think I threw away almost two years for nothing. I have gained nothing by leaving. Maybe alittle happiness, maybe a tad more self confidence. But I still feel so alone.
I really did try and change for you. I did everything you asked and you turn around and throw it in my face. Why? Why even bother telling me If i do "this and that" that we'd work, if you planned on bailing out? I just don't understand. But I guess you never understood me either. And I never could give you an answer. They say karma is a bitch. And I've finally met her myself.
But one day, maybe a month from now or seven years. You'll see me out somewhere, and wish you hadn't thrown it all back in my face. And When it finally sinks in for you, that I really had come to my senses and wanted to try again it'll be too late. And hopefully I will have found someone who loves me strong like you did, but doesn't make me miserable. And I'd like to say "I hope this 'new girl' your talking to rips your heart out." But I dnt wish that kind of pain on anyone. I know I did it to you. And you rly don't deserve that again. So I can only hope she doesn't hurt you. But just like the very first time. When you picked another girl over me, and when she dumped you after only a month, you came running back to me. And I opened my arms wide and took you in. My arms won't be open wide this time. I may have broke your heart. But you did mine twice before you and I were ever really official. So when all of this finally sinks in, I hope you realize you pushed away the only woman who will ever love you and deal with your shit.
Best of luck,
Your ex Fiancé
