Love is such a bittersweet feeling. When you have it you feel alive and free, but when you lose it, its hard to just breathe. I was 14 the last time we were ever considered boyfriend and girlfriend. 14 the last time we held hands or kissed. Im 20 now and for some reason after all that time, i love you. Throughout the years i have watched you, girlfriend after girlfriend, and waited for you to realize how much I love you. I have listened to you talk to them on the phone when you would stay all night with my cousin. I still stay up all night crying over you. I still have dreams of you coming back to me. In the dreams im happier than ive ever been in my life, but when i wake up and reality sets in, the pain overwhelms me. And now your getting married. And every day i realize that you will infact never love me the way i love you. The pain pulls me into a black hole and smothers me and i dont know how to make it stop. I have tried everything and it wont go away. I try so hard to be happy for you, to realize that we just werent meant to be but i cant convince myself of it. I pray to God every night to send me someone that will make me forget about you and i hope he does soon. Because the day of your wedding will be one of the worst days of my life. Im so sorry that i cant be happy for you, but its as hopeless as my love for you.
