I sit here, in my room, I am shaking, my chest is heavy, my heart is pounding, and I cannot breathe. I have just read your letter to Judge Aaron Persky. I am appalled. Frustrated, angry, sad, disappointed. I want to dissect your letter, paragraph by paragraph, and go through all of the things that I believe to be highly problematic.
In your first paragraph, you mention that you have known Brock Turner since childhood, and that Brock and his sister “seem like such good kids.” You mention that you know his parents and that they are well respected in their community, that they are “very cool and grounded parents.” You then proceed to write that if you had to choose one kid who you graduated with to be in this position, it would not be Brock, and that you can name off 5 other people that you wouldn’t be surprised about. Well, naming 5 other potential rapists is not necessary, since Brock’s actions have demonstrated to the world that he is in fact a rapist. It does not matter that you have never personally caught him harassing someone verbally or physically, or that he “seems like a good kid.” What matters is that he was found guilty of raping an unconscious woman.
In your next paragraph you start by saying “it is pretty frustrating to see the light that people are putting him in now.” I would like to correct that. People are not putting him in a light. Brock Turner put himself in a light-the light that stipulates that he is in fact a rapist. Calling Brock a rapist after he raped and violated an unconscious woman is not a false way of putting anything. Brock raped a woman and to call him a rapist is not false, no matter how hard it is for you to wrap your head around it. You mention that you are not backing up rape or blaming anyone, but a couple of sentences later, and repeatedly throughout your letter, you mention how much alcohol the woman had to drink. Perhaps you are not aware, but drinking too much is never an invitation to be raped. As a woman yourself, I am sad this is something you do not seem to comprehend. You mention that it does not take a rocket scientist to know that alcohol increases emotions and feelings. Well Leslie, it also does not take a rocket scientist to know that when a woman has had too much to drink, and is unconscious, she cannot provide consent, therefore, it is probably a good idea not to rape her. You think this is all a huge misunderstanding? It does not matter what you think. How do you think the survivor of Brock’s violation feels? Did you stop to think about that? To think about her, and her friends and family, and how they must feel? Do you think she thinks this is a misunderstanding? Did you read her letter? Did you read the trauma she was forced to endure repeatedly? Because I certainly did, and none of the information she provided demonstrates any innocence from your friend Brock.
Your last paragraph is what compelled me to write a letter to a stranger. There is so much misogyny and ignorance in this last paragraph, I find it mind boggling. You don’t think it is fair to base the fate of the next ten-plus years of Brock’s life on a decision of a girl who doesn’t remember anything but the amount of alcohol she had to drink? Wow. Once again Leslie, what matters here is not how much this woman had to drink, not what she was wearing, none of that. What matters is that Brock Turner raped her, and by doing so, he has decided the fate of the next ten-plus years of his life. And of the survivors life. Since when is rape only rape when it is committed by a stranger? This ignorant comment is an insult to women everywhere who diligently fought to have marital rape recognized by the law. Because guess what Leslie, rapists are not only strange men in dark alleyways. Rape is often committed by someone known to the victim. You mention university campuses, and how they are emphatic supporters of drinking and partying. As a graduate student, I have spent quite a few years in university, and I can concur that there is quite a large drinking culture on campus. What I vehemently disagree with is the way you parallel campus drinking and rape, as though drinking while in university is what causes rape. You then take it a step further and exclaim that students who get too drunk and rape-yes Leslie, that r-word that you are furiously trying to deny is real-are not actually rapists, they are “just idiot boys and girls having too much to drink.” Perhaps I should not assume, but as a young adult in university, who has the right to vote, drive, and make independent, well-executed decisions, these “idiot boys” should know that rape is wrong. No amount of alcohol, unfamiliar surroundings, or clouded judgment changes the simple fact that rape is wrong. You also have the audacity to bring up the issue of being politically correct, and acknowledging that rape on campuses isn’t always because people are rapists. What? What is it then? You then end this last, seriously deranged paragraph by stating that you know for a fact that Brock is not a rapist. That’s ironic, because he did in fact rape someone. So it appears that what you know is false.
The last thing I would like to address in your letter is the photo you included of Brock, with the caption “‘d’awwww’ because he was always the sweetest to everyone.” Your entire letter was painful to read, as it was laden with ignorant, and misogynist comments, and placed the blame on the victim, while absolving Brock of all responsibility. The inclusion of this photo, and your request to have the judge further consider the joke of a sentence issued to Brock is beyond nauseating. I urge you to please go over your letter again and really think deeply about the things you have written. About how you have internalized the sexist and patriarchal system we live in, and in doing so, no longer question the status quo, or a man you call a friend who raped someone. Instead you question the survivor’s story, and in doing so, you question every other survivor of sexual assault, while simultaneously confirming their doubts about coming out with their stories, for fear that society, and women like yourself, will invalidate their experience because their rapist “seemed like such a good kid.”
It bothers me that I have taken more time to write this letter to you rather than spend this time writing to the survivor of this nightmare, but I felt it necessary to address the pertinent issues within your letter. As women, we should stand together and support each other. I hope that you can reflect on your position as a woman in this society, and adjust your dangerous and problematic views of rape, rapists, campus drinking, and consent.
Sincerely,
Maria Kyres
