Dear Mom,
You always had a way of making me the bad guy. Your booze, boyfriends, and son came first. Wake up, go to the boyfriend. Later on go to work to see other boyfriend and begin the drugs. Come home take care of your son and begin drinking. Every night. Gone for hours, not coming home until 2 or 5 in the morning . Thank you for showing me the priorities that I know will NOT be put in my life. Thank you for showing me how to NOT treat my oldest child.
Always going from man to man ever since I was little, each had their own gift for you. Let it be drugs, money, or a free babysitter when you were out screwing everyone else. Those poor guys, some actually loved you. But they all saw how I wasn't really a part of your life. They all saw how I was put to the side. Everyone kept saying you should've never had children. My life was full of various men, noises coming from the back room that I soon learned meant stay out, mommy be in good gone all day so I could play with the neighbors. You were never there. I was a pawn in your twisted game. I tried for you. I tried, I kept good grades, I stayed out of trouble, I listened. I took some of your men emotionally breaking me down and hurting me for all the wrong reasons. I didn't get so angry I yelled when you sat there and watched them make me cry. I tried to see the good in you. But you never did me. I was in the way, I was something keeping you from constant partying. I was a bother. But my brother, oh no. He was the product of the real family you wanted. By the drunken bastard who couldn't stay sober for one day to say happy birthday. That's why my brother was your favorite, everything he did reminded you of your one true lover. I was the mistake, I was the one night stand that haunted you. Yet, you kept me around. Simply for the money to support your addictions. If I didn't bring in the money, I wouldn't be stuck with you. You hold me against my will at this point. And yet, I still don't get chosen. So thank you 'mom' for showing me how to not treat my future child. I will show them love and shon them thay they matter. Thank you for showing me what a drunken mother does to a child. Thank you. Because now I know I will be better than that. And I show more love than you ever can. Thank you for never choosing me.
