When I was a child I remember begging for you, begging my mother to call and get you to come get me, begging you to come get me or come see me. I remember countless time's waiting outside for you all day when you told me you were going to come get me then crying myself to sleep because you would never showed. Then I wouldn't see you till 3months later. As a teen I resented you and away. I used to question why anyone or God would put any child in that situation.
Not now, now I see the beauty and good behind having a drug addict for a parent if you are reading this it isn't meant to hurt you but preferrably thank you.
Thank you for choosing your addiction over me, your only child.
Throughout my entire life you have chosen your addiction over me. The things you should have been there for like my choir and band concerts, even something as small as a movie night you chose the addiction over it all.
Even joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning your drug-induced sleep. Or if someone would find you dead from overdosing. I could never explain to you and you have no idea how many times I would wish and pray for you to build a relationship with me.
Thank you for showing me how to love your absence and whatever way I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't there I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I have felt. like any other little girl's father you willalways be my first and greatest love.
Thank you for making me strong, thank you for not being there and for showing me how I can overcome anything by myself. I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved and to love. I've learned The life is always hard. but you should search for the real happiness in the world. Not something that makes you feel good or feel nothing at all for a short while.
Most of all thank you for showing me how to turn my pain into motivation. I learned that the cycle of addiction is not something I want in my life in any way shape or form. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through it all push myself to become the best version love myself. Thank you for choosing the addiction over me. Because you've made me stronger, wiser, and more loving than ever could before. Thank you dad.
