Here's to the lies...

The thirteenth of August, the day we met. It was all great and grand, til you started lying. Not just once in a while, all the time. It started off stupid little things, then years go by and they'd get bigger... And bigger! Eventually, I was, " worthless " or, " disqusting " and I wasn't worthy of loyalty. I never was. That's when you decided I was capable of taking a few to the face, gut, or anywhere else on my body. Leaving countless bruises, or nightmares I can't escape. All while, I had to be the perfect mom. Everything else was, " my fault " or " I deserved it " not only in your eyes, but my own family! You have no idea how hard it was to look our daughter in the face, and convince myself it WAS okay. No one should ever do that to their self. But I did. I now have anxiety when your not next to me, I can barely order at a restraunt without being so nervous and judged. I'm so ashamed of my body, personality, even just the thought of myself. After all, the countless times you told me, " No one will ever love you " and I believed you.. Just like I believed everytime you said you'd never hurt me again. Now you have everyone wrapped around your finger, while I try everything to mask how scared and how lost I am. So thank you for taking four years from me, and filling my own family with lies. Thank you for taking what made me independent and leaving me with fear. But most of all, thank you for giving me my daughter. Who will never fear a man or suffer anexity because she was told she was worthless.... Shes the only good that came from you.