I was introduced to you by my sister. You are in her unit. She texted me about you and told me you were a southern country guy, my type. I was iffy at first, because I don't do well with guys, but I added you and we began talking. You thought it was funny how the whole situation started with you messaging her about me. I thought it was amazing how much we had in common and how you were the only person that I met in 9 years that knew where my hometown was, because you lived by it previously. You called me at 3:00 AM that night and we talked. I began loving your voice.
I was intimidated by your experience and your manliness, but I definitely wanted to make this work. Though we didn't live in the same city, we still lived in the same state, only maybe 2-3 hours away, depending on a few things. We talked all night and all morning and every text just made me more excited to get to know you.
My sister told me that I would instantly swoon over you because of how funny you were. She was right. I was caught up in your funny pictures and your amazing smile and your southern voice. I liked that you loved country music. I have a hard time finding anyone else that likes it. I just wanted to tell everyone I knew about you. I called my other sisters and told them all about you and sent them a video of you that my sister took.
For once, I could see this going somewhere. But my problem is expression. I like to plan things out ahead of time. I didn't know you for long, but I already wanted to show you to everyone and I wanted to take walks on the beach together and go on road trips. But you didn't know this because I don't know how to express my feelings well. You didn't know that I really really liked you. You didn't know that I wanted to be your girlfriend or that I wanted to spend all of my time with you. I'm not talking about marriage yet, just the little stuff. The little things are what I live for.
Soon, you started calling me 'babe' (I sent screenshots to my sisters because I was so elated) and you called me 'cute' and 'beautiful' and you said that it was crazy, but you liked to talk on the phone with me (funny thing that it was always after 1:00 AM). I told you that I liked your voice, and you said you loved mine (even though I absolutely despise my voice). You also messaged me once saying "Thinking of you!!!" that made me melt. You called me ma'am often, which surprised me. I've never met a man or anyone, really, that called me ma'am. You are a real sweet gentleman.
We talked about many other things and I always got such a huge smile on my face when I saw that I got a new message from you. You should've seen me face when you sent me videos of you singing country songs in the car.
Last week, you stopped talking to me. I didn't know if you were busy or something, so I didn't message you because I didn't want to bother you. Well last night, I gathered up enough courage to message you. We talked about your trip and then you said you got a girlfriend. To be fair, we weren't dating. It wasn't serious to you, probably. I never expressed my fondness of you enough. I probably wasn't what you wanted, anyway. But this situation was similar to the last two I had, both were friends like us, but neither one meant as much as this. I'm pretty used to this kind of thing because I really suck at expressing my feelings and I suck at relationships and all that stuff. But it still affected me, and just so you know, of course I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself because I couldn't keep you.
Anyway, I'm sure she's beautiful and she has a lot going for her, and I'm hoping y'all stay together for a long time. She's a very very lucky girl. I'm still trying to move past this whole thing but it'll take a while. I don't let people in easily, so when I finally find someone I like, I hold on as tight as I can.
I can't lie, I have your face and your smile and your voice stuck in my head. And of course, every country song I love reminds me of you in some way. My sister was so excited that we were talking and I still haven't told her or anyone else the news. When my other sisters ask me about you, I just say "oh, I don't know."
I guess I'm just sorry that I think too much and put too much into things. To normal people I guess this wouldn't be a big deal.
I have no idea what I meant to you, but you're definitely one of my favorite people that I've talked to. One of the most genuine people. It's a shame we never met each other in person! I hope everything goes smoothly in your life.
Thank you for the laughs and the smiles.
