Jagiyah

Jagiyah... (Korean) honey, sweetie, love, darling. Used between couples in a relationship to address each other. Normally used by younger couples (old generation does not use this phrase), and can be between unmarried or married couples. It can be addressed to both men and women. What this word means to me... hmmm. You. The one I spent 5 years with. Calling you this meant that you were someone very close to me. Someone who held my heart in their soft hands, caressing it to soften and live. Not just to live, but to love. Could you ever have dreamt, or imagined we'd be together for 5 years? I called you this, because babe, baby, honey, bae, and everything else that is used nowadays just didn't mean it the way jagiyah does. It's my korean side that took over... But the fact that you were my jagiyah and I was yours... Jagiyah. How I haven't heard from you in 4 months. I haven't seen you in 6 months... My heart starts to harden and become lifeless as memories of us are being locked away into the deepest part of my mind. My heart and brain fights because when I try to lock up the memories, my heart immediately relives that memory. The dates, jokes, laughs, and pain that's associated with each memory is briefly opened. My brain starts to work and try to lock them up. I'll probably never use that word ever again. Even typing brings me joy and pain at the same time... Joy that I get to see it and that I am using it but pain because I can't use it for the purpose of calling you mine. Remember when you use to call me that too? In your cute voice, jokingly and playfully, calling me because you wanted my attention? I can still see your face as you use that word and cuddle next to me. Smiling and burying your face into my arms... I want to... I hope that you are happy. I hope that you are well. I hope that you will never forget that, although you are just a person in this world, that to me, you were my world. All I can say is that I wish you the happiness and the best. Though it may not be with me, I wish you love. I would say, (Forever yours) at the end of a letter, but not this time. I'll just end it with. Jagiyah..