Dear People Who Flip Off Cameras,
I originally wrote “Dear Douchebags” in my salutation, but didn’t want to seem so bitter. However, that is what you indeed look like, a douchebag, when you flip off the camera.
I’m writing to you today because after viewing the 100th photo of one of your kind flipping off the camera for NO APPARENT REASON on my Facebook feed yesterday, something in me snapped: I began deleting your kind from my friend list. It takes a lot for me to de-friend someone (the only other people I delete are the ones who post about Jesus, IN CAPS, every ten minutes- do you want to fall into the same category as them?), but I got so tired of being flipped off for shits and giggles that I decided to remove any trace of your unnecessary sign language from my vision. Now, of course, because you are the sort of person who likes to flip off the camera, and likes to show the world that you have a laissez-faire attitude towards life, you would respond to my previous statement with, “HATERS GONNA HATE! I AM WHO I AM AND ANYONE WHO CAN’T HANDLE IT, FUCK ‘EM!”
Yep. You win.
Let’s get back to the laissez-faire attitude. Maybe that’s not the right word, since flipping off the camera is more of a sign of aggression than indifference.
WHAT THE F ARE YOU SO MAD ABOUT? Especially you, the cute little hipster girls who work at Urban Outfitters and have nothing to actually hate on. Your school, car and apartment are paid for by your parents; you have nothing to remotely complain about. If you’re flipping off the camera because you’re mimicking the gestures of the older, male hipsters dudes that you sleep with and who ultimately dump your ass because they want to focus their energies on their band that is going nowhere, then I feel sorry for you. You have a brain and your momma taught you better. And as for you older dudes, snap out of it! The pretty party girls might find it endearing, but potential employers don’t. Unless you’re applying to “Flipping off Cameras r’ Us”.
I’m sure you’re all good people at heart, and I hope this is just an ugly phase like ass crack jeans or ironic tattoos that you’ll be ashamed to show your future children. I guess what I really want to know is why? Why do it? Why is it that your first inclination when someone says “smile for the camera!” is to flash one or two birds at the picture taker and therefore the world? You’re not a celebrity escaping the paparazzi, you’re not a singer trying to convey a tough image and you’re mostly definitely not a cantankerous elderly person taking a photo to be used on greeting cards for Spencer’s Gifts.
I hate to break it to you, but NO ONE finds your flipping off the camera photos cute, except for others who like to flip off the camera.
May I suggest using your hands for good and not evil? What the hell ever happened to the peace sign? Rabbit ears? Taylor Swift hearts?
Yours truly,
Confused and Scared for Humanity
