For my Favorite girl

-An open letter for my favorite girl
I'm still in love with you. I understand you thought I didn't care about you like you cared about me when we were together, but god you meant everything to me and still do. I also understand when you went on vacation to Portugal and we couldn't talk much, it really made me look bad. I knew Nina was able to talk to you through what's app and I would ask if she talked to you and how you were. I remember grabbing your arm almost every time you walked by me at work so I could get as many kisses in the day before you left. I knew I would miss you because being with you felt like the home I've never had. I missed you everyday you were on vacation but I knew missing somebody is part of loving someone. The days you were gone I couldn't wait for you to come back. I planned a pizza date I wanted to be super cute for when you got back because I had a strong feeling you would be homesick, and I just wanted to be the one by your side making you happy again. You really don't see or understand how much it hurt me being avoided every time I would ask to be with you when you got back. I just wanted to make you so happy and I couldn't even do that with what I had in mind waiting to happen. My heart was so broken to say the least and I kept my distance from you for a short amount of time until I was strong enough to keep trying because I was still so motivated to love you with a passion even after a broken heart. I understood there was a miscommunication because you felt like you weren't good enough for me but you were my world. That's what kept me pouring my heart out to you, doing cute things like bringing flowers to your house and surprising you with roses and a note in your car at work. I was trying so hard to show you I cared so much about you but you felt like it was out of regret and didn't like all the emotions at once. It upset me, but I understood it would take time for you to trust me again. When I realized you were talking to somebody else, I let you do your thing for awhile and see how things would play out. But even when I realized this I was still the nicest guy to you no matter what you said to me because I was still in love with you. When things didn't end well with the other guy, I took all the bad names and hate towards me.Still, I wanted to help you in anyway at work and be so kind to show you still mean so much to me. I've been keeping to myself for awhile now, still waiting saving myself for you. I think about you on frequent occasions and missing you like this kills me. I hope you could see that you're the only girl in the world that matters to me. I want everything to be with you just as I did from the start.