An Open Letter to My Conscious Partner

Dear Conscious Partner (whoever, wherever you are),

Let me be blunt, clear, and straightforward, so that you may deeply understand what I desire. Let me also say that this path is not for the faint of heart, so if by reading this you begin to dismiss my words or tell me this isn't possible, then I know you aren't ready to hear this and this may not be your path.

I desire a conscious partnership, one in which both of us are committed to the growth of ourselves as individuals, as well as a team.

I desire that you are doing your work and I am doing mine. I desire us to know that the work doesn't disappear until we die, and even that is debatable.

I desire us to know there is no certain level of perfection we must get to in order to be ready for one another, rather a willingness to say "yes" to the process, with trust, intention, patience, vulnerability, curiosity, and an open heart.

I desire us to be able to recognize our own triggers and the places they come from. I desire us to handle one another with care and respect in these places, as well with as a willingness to move through these with one another.

I desire us to be one another's rock while also having outside sources for energy regeneration.

I desire us to both know we are always doing the best we can, in any given moment.

I desire us to raise the bar for one another if we see the other minimizing themselves in some way.

I desire us to encourage the bigness of the other, so that we may grow into and embody our full potential, both as individuals and as partners.

I desire us to never have to make ourselves small in order to maintain our partnership. I desire us to both know that one might have needs greater than the other at any given time, and to allow space for that.

I desire open, truthful, radically-honest communication that is delivered with love, compassion, and tenderness. Sometimes this might look like a tearful, heartfelt conversation and sometimes it might look like passionate, loud, emotional volatility. I desire for us to be able to hold space for both poles, so that all is welcome, while remaining connected.

I desire to break the pattern of codependency, so that we may both be responsible for our own feelings and not feel obligated to caretake the other. That's not to say we don't want to be taken care of and loved, rather I want to know you can take care of you and I can take care of me. From this place, we can build a foundation on solid ground rather than landfill.

I desire for us to take space when we need it, and have this communicated in a clear way, free from blame, attack, emotional blackmail, and finger-pointing.

I desire us to respect when someone feels like they are sinking in the deep-end and needs to stand in shallow water for a bit to catch their breath. I desire this is done without disappearing or abandonment. I desire knowing the other will offer a life vest, knowing the offer may be declined.

I desire us to want to go to the depths of the deep-end with one another, so that we may witness and experience the dark, stormy, deep corners of each others' souls. I desire us to go down there prepared to know we may find things we are afraid of, and to see those things as beautiful reflections of the human experience.

I desire us to handle one another with exquisite attention, intention, care, love, respect, compassion, and kindness.

I desire us to let the other know when they smell bullshit. I desire us to call the other out on undesirable behaviors or places we get stuck, with complete love and approval for where the other is at.

I desire us to be committed to monogamy, knowing it is a very high level practice. I desire open communication around potential desires for others, knowing that this will in fact happen at some point, and there is space for this truth to exist within a partnership, without leaving or acting on it.

I desire us to choose to be with one another every day, not stay with one another out of indebtedness or fear of being alone. I desire us to be at cause, rather than at effect.

I desire us to both recognize there may be moments when we want to jump ship, because things might feel too intense, and I ask that we don't.

I desire to know both my heart and yours in a deeper way than ever imaginable, and vice versa.

I desire us to love one another in our ugliest, most shame-filled moments, and to know that that's part of the package of sharing your life with another.

I desire adventure, uncontrollable laughter, ridiculous playfulness, spontaneity, and fun. I desire us to always remember how important this is.

I desire mutual adoration, attraction, lust, devotion, dedication, and the inability to keep our hands off one another.

I desire radically intimate sex, that will vary based on our moods and desires. I desire room for it all.

I desire sex that comes from a place of fullness and desire, rather than lack and commerce. There's nothing more disheartening than obligatory sex, or withholding from a partner as payback.

I desire your masculine to be strong enough to let me be in my feminine. I desire fluidity between these spaces for us both as well.

I desire communication when we need it and silence when we don't.

I desire heart and courage to come before ego.

I desire us to see any doubts or fears as movable objects, rather than impossible obstacles.

I desire us to love our own hearts.

I desire you to believe and trust that this is all possible.

I desire for us to be ready for one another.

With love,
Brittany