Dear Mr. Lynton
This week marks the 70th anniversary of the Battle of the Bulge, which took place in southwestern Belgium in December of 1944. As you may recall, the Nazis launched an all-out offensive on vastly outnumbered and unprepared American and Allied forces, as they attempted to split the Allied lines in two. The Germans were clearly getting the better of it, and the Wehrmacht High Command, under the direct orders of Der Führer himself, dispatched two senior officers to the headquarters of the 101st Airborne Division, commanded by then-Brigadier General Anthony “Tony” McAuliffe, demanding he and his troops surrender to the Nazis.
McAuliffe gave the Germans the following answer:
TO THE GERMAN COMMANDER
NUTS
THE AMERICAN COMMANDER
The Germans, puzzled, asked what “Nuts!” meant.
An aide to General McAuliffe replied, “It means, in plain English, ‘Go to hell.’”
Allied reinforcements arrived in the nick of time, and the Wehrmacht was driven across the Rhine and into Germany, to surrender, unconditionally, less than five months later. This victory at Bastogne was one of the reasons why I, an American Jew, am able to write this letter—in English – and you, another American Jew and a descendant of Holocaust survivors, are able to read it.
General McAuliffe would go on to wear three additional stars on his shoulder, and retired from the Army in 1956. Hitler would go on to undertake a one-way journey down the Highway to Hell.
Let’s flash-forward 70 years. Earlier this week, some computer hackers calling themselves the “Guardians of Peace” threatened a 9-11 style attack on those movie theaters and their patrons who would have the audacity to see a comedy in which Kim Jong Un, the dog-eating despotic tyrant running and ruining North Korea, is dispatched to buy the big collective farm in the sky. Unfortunately, the spirit of Gen. McAuliffe was nowhere in existence; the craven cowards who ran many movie theater chains decided to crumple like empty bags of the overpriced candy they sell, and surrendered to the fat, dumpy dog-eater; and Sony Entertainment, the company you run, followed down that ignominious path shortly thereafter.
I would like to remind you and the rest of the pusillanimous Hollywood empty suits that the United States of America doesn’t roll that way. We didn’t surrender at the Alamo; we didn’t surrender at Bastogne; we didn’t surrender at Pork Chop Hill, and we’re not about to capitulate now. Capisci?
I received an e-mail from Simon & Schuster, advertising Dear Leader: Poet, Spy, Escapee – A Look Inside North Korea, authored by Jan Jin-Sung, a book detailing his experiences (and later escape) during the evil regime of Kim Il Sung, the dearly-departed father of the incumbent tyrant. I immediately logged into Amazon.com and ordered it. If Kim Jong Un doesn’t approve, I have two words for the fat boy: Bring it. I’m considerably larger than the Dear Leader. He’d better take Dennis Rodman with him. Along with a couple of well-fed canines.
President Obama held a news conference this afternoon, in which he castigated Sony and the craven theater owners for knuckling under to a vague and totally unsubstantiated threat from a bunch of malnourished hackers, the biggest of whom probably stands 5’4” tall and weighs less than 125 pounds.
The President seems to have grown a pair since the 2014 midterm election debacle. I advise you to find out what he’s been drinking, and try some yourself.
Sincerely yours,
Daniel J. Silagi
